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TTOG: why do you argue me about our return policy, but then completely roll over as soon as the GSTL tells you the EXACT. SAME. THING.

To basically every guest: The carts are wet because it is raining/snowing. You know that is raining because you just came in from the parking lot, so I'm not sure why you're surprised. And no, I'm not searching for a dry one for you (unless you have a kid that has to sit in it, then I will dig...

Today I was walking past Christmas cards, and two women were reading some. One said, "This card is so funny. I have to send it to [name]." The other woman laughed and said "oh my gosh, that is really funny. God, I hate myself." To the second woman: Umm...are you okay?

I had a guest ask me if Starbucks was guest service. "Hi, welcome to Starbucks. Are you ordering coffee or making a return?"