Archived ALL ABOARD THE CRAZY TRAIN!

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TallAPGuy

TallAPGuy

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I've dealt with many weird people, and I've dealt with plenty of tweakers. I've even (at a previous job) ridden with a cop to drop someone off at the psychiatric hospital (did you know that How to train your dragon is the preeminent source of Norse and dragon lore?) But today's lady takes the cake.
This afternoon I was standing at our mall entrance providing door presence, receipt checking everyone and their dog and giving little kids stickers. In walks this lady, normal looking enough as she walks in. Before I could ask how she was today, she gets the first words in:
"I'm sorry, where's your bathroom? I needtoshit before I shop."
"...Uh, front corner of the store, that way," I respond, caught off guard by her bluntness.
"OK, thank you I- OH! YOU'RE 'Tall'? Do you remember me? I taught a 'Tall' !" At this point, she takes five steps towards me, now uncomfortably close. (Note: My real name isn't exactly common, but it's far from uncommon)
I take a step back, "I'm sorry mam, I don't recognize you."
"Oh, come on 'Tall', I taught you at [Local highschool I didn't attend!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't go to XXXX, I went to [Highschool in other town]"
"Oh, then you went to [University of California campus 2 hours away]! You're making a million dollars now. I need a million dollars," She went on while I was shaking my head in dissent.
"Mam, I didn't-"
"I need a million dollars. I need someone to move in with me with a million bucks," she continued, cutting me off, and she kept getting closer, while I was trying to step back, and starting to get a bad feeling about this.
"I needamilliondollars. I need a man. You want to move in with me? Can you move in with me?"
At this point, I wanted to call for AP, or anyone else. She also put her hand on my shoulder with a disturbing look in her eyes. I gently but forcefully removed it "Mam, I would appreciate you not touching me, and I'm sorry, but no, I'm no moving in."
"Yeah, I guess I was a little forward, and your wife wouldn't like it. You have a wife, right?"
"A girlfriend, and yeah, she wouldn't be very happy."
"That's too bad, I need a million dollars, I need a man, and I would make sure you orgasmed six times a day." And she walked off. I was shocked. I looked over at the electronics team member standing a few feet away, and she was watching the lady walk past, eyebrow raised.
"What the hell was that???"

***********

So, anyone have stories about crazy guests?
 
Crazy train didn't stop there; sounds like your store is the freakin' depot.

We had a homeless guy who'd buy HBA stuff with giftcards & cash, then return them for cash before AP cracked down.
The next time he tried to return the items, the GSTM refused it so he began yelling at her & making threats while she called AP.
AP came up just as he dropped his pants & told the GSTM to perform an oral sex act.
Arrested & trespassed.
 
I've posted this before, but I'll put it here too...

In '09, I'm stocking dairy in the Pfresh endcap and an older lady comes up to me.

Her: "HEY! You're on the website!"
Me: "Umm... what website?"
H: "The most wanted website!"
M: "America's most wanted?"
H: "No, INTERPOL!"
M: "Uhhhh..."
H: "Have you ever lived in Canada?"
M: "Uh, no"
H: "How long have you lived here?"
M: (I'm guessing she meant the city I live in) "Uh, three years?"
H: "Well there's a guy on INTERPOL's website that looks just like you. I'll show you a picture next time I'm in."
M: "uh... okay"
 
My store has a couple who come in and will not allow you to touch their merchandise, even to ring it. They literally hand it to the cashier one at a time to scan with the hand scanner and put it in their own bags. If you try to take it from them they will slap your hand and yell at you.
 
You're a better person than I. People who don't respect personal boundaries are the absolute worst.

There's a mentally challenged lady who stalks my meat team leader. Hunts him down to stare at him from a distance for ten minutes at a time. So creepy.

Also, there's one old man who comes in and tells awful, awful jokes to anyone who will listen. Mostly homophobic and racist jokes, too.
 
TallAPGuy said:
I've dealt with many weird people, and I've dealt with plenty of tweakers. I've even (at a previous job) ridden with a cop to drop someone off at the psychiatric hospital (did you know that How to train your dragon is the preeminent source of Norse and dragon lore?) But today's lady takes the cake.
This afternoon I was standing at our mall entrance providing door presence, receipt checking everyone and their dog and giving little kids stickers. In walks this lady, normal looking enough as she walks in. Before I could ask how she was today, she gets the first words in:
"I'm sorry, where's your bathroom? I needtoshit before I shop."
"...Uh, front corner of the store, that way," I respond, caught off guard by her bluntness.
"OK, thank you I- OH! YOU'RE 'Tall'? Do you remember me? I taught a 'Tall' !" At this point, she takes five steps towards me, now uncomfortably close. (Note: My real name isn't exactly common, but it's far from uncommon)
I take a step back, "I'm sorry mam, I don't recognize you."
"Oh, come on 'Tall', I taught you at [Local highschool I didn't attend!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't go to XXXX, I went to [Highschool in other town]"
"Oh, then you went to [University of California campus 2 hours away]! You're making a million dollars now. I need a million dollars," She went on while I was shaking my head in dissent.
"Mam, I didn't-"
"I need a million dollars. I need someone to move in with me with a million bucks," she continued, cutting me off, and she kept getting closer, while I was trying to step back, and starting to get a bad feeling about this.
"I needamilliondollars. I need a man. You want to move in with me? Can you move in with me?"
At this point, I wanted to call for AP, or anyone else. She also put her hand on my shoulder with a disturbing look in her eyes. I gently but forcefully removed it "Mam, I would appreciate you not touching me, and I'm sorry, but no, I'm no moving in."
"Yeah, I guess I was a little forward, and your wife wouldn't like it. You have a wife, right?"
"A girlfriend, and yeah, she wouldn't be very happy."
"That's too bad, I need a million dollars, I need a man, and I would make sure you orgasmed six times a day." And she walked off. I was shocked. I looked over at the electronics team member standing a few feet away, and she was watching the lady walk past, eyebrow raised.
"What the hell was that???"

***********

So, anyone have stories about crazy guests?
Click to expand...
I'm sorry I don't move in for less than eight orgasms a day...before lunch. :p
 
She's obviously mentally handicapped, so it's difficult to be too harsh on her. But god, it seems like she needs to be isolated for a while.
 
My store invented the crazy train. A couple of days ago we had a lady come in screaming. She was yelling that a blonde haired green eyed lady punched her, and we didnt want to help her, this want on for about 2 mins before, she said that ap assaulted her. then the creative language started. After ten minutes of nonsensical screaming ap finally escorts this lady out. As soon as she's out the door she mooned all of ap, including all 3 tps, 2 aps, aptl and the etl.
20 minutes later i get a weird guest, which is normal were in a weird part of town. Everythings fine until i hand her reciept, then she starts yelling that i stole her lithiums. i got stuck listening to this foor about 5 minutes till she stormed off. The only thing she came in with was a purse, and she only bought 2 pops.
A hour goes by tgen we get a purchase order guest. Of course something goes wrong. Here we go again rant #3 in 2 hours. By the end of this one the gsa gets called a c u next tuesday
This is why i hate cashiering.
Redeye58 may i please have some degreaser.
 
masterofalltrades said:
My store invented the crazy train. A couple of days ago we had a lady come in screaming. She was yelling that a blonde haired green eyed lady punched her, and we didnt want to help her, this want on for about 2 mins before, she said that ap assaulted her. then the creative language started. After ten minutes of nonsensical screaming ap finally escorts this lady out. As soon as she's out the door she mooned all of ap, including all 3 tps, 2 aps, aptl and the etl.
Click to expand...
Your store has two APSs and both an APTL and ETL-AP? I can tell you're in a weird part of town just by that!

masterofalltrades said:
20 minutes later i get a weird guest, which is normal were in a weird part of town. Everythings fine until i hand her reciept, then she starts yelling that i stole her lithiums. i got stuck listening to this foor about 5 minutes till she stormed off. The only thing she came in with was a purse, and she only bought 2 pops.
A hour goes by tgen we get a purchase order guest. Of course something goes wrong. Here we go again rant #3 in 2 hours. By the end of this one the gsa gets called a c u next tuesday
This is why i hate cashiering.
Redeye58 may i please have some degreaser.
Click to expand...
We had a douche claim that the Electronics TM didn't hand him the change from a $100 on a $7.25 bill. Luckily, my boss, the ETL-AP, was LOD this morning and she had me look at the cameras to prove the POS (and not Point Of Sale) was lying through his teeth. The TM actually accidentally handed him an extra $5. She threatened to call the PD on the ass, who took off through the mall at a dead sprint.
 
TallAPGuy said:
Your store has two APSs and both an APTL and ETL-AP? I can tell you're in a weird part of town just by that!


We had a douche claim that the Electronics TM didn't hand him the change from a $100 on a $7.25 bill. Luckily, my boss, the ETL-AP, was LOD this morning and she had me look at the cameras to prove the POS (and not Point Of Sale) was lying through his teeth. The TM actually accidentally handed him an extra $5. She threatened to call the PD on the ass, who took off through the mall at a dead sprint.
Click to expand...
we are like super duper high risk. Thats not even our whole ap staff. We currently have 7 tps 2 aps 1 sr. Aps an aptl and etl-ap. We average like 7-8 good aps a week. And ap has closed 7 internals already this year.
 
masterofalltrades said:
we are like super duper high risk. Thats not even our whole ap staff. We currently have 7 tps 2 aps 1 sr. Aps an aptl and etl-ap. We average like 7-8 good aps a week. And ap has closed 7 internals already this year.
Click to expand...
WTF? I think you have more people in AP than my entire store has ETLs and TLs.
 
We have a lady who comes in and uses self check out.. She never lets anyone near her. You can tell she has some sort of OCD.. She can't touch the screen with her fingers, she uses her knuckles. it freaks her out if she has to open the bags. I have asked her numerous times if she needs help and she always says no. The other day it was hurting me to watch her struggle to open the bag. I went up to her pretending I was fixing the gum display and quietly said - would you like me to open the bag for you?I won't touch it. I will put a bag over my hand.. She said, yes please.. I made progress...
 
I have this lady who comes in every day who whistles all the time and then whistles at the checklanes and then talks about her dogs. She gets mad if you do not put the dog food in the bag correctly.
 
masterofalltrades said:
we are like super duper high risk. Thats not even our whole ap staff. We currently have 7 tps 2 aps 1 sr. Aps an aptl and etl-ap. We average like 7-8 good aps a week. And ap has closed 7 internals already this year.
Click to expand...

Holy cow! You must be in Detroit or South Central LA to have that big of an AP team! Last time we had an App was a couple months ago, and we had to call PD b/c we didn't have anyone App certified; not counting the nut job with a knife running around the store cutting open packages a few weeks ago. It's a damn good thing he put it away or the Police would have shot his ass.
 
PinkZinnia said:
We have a lady who comes in and uses self check out.. She never lets anyone near her. You can tell she has some sort of OCD.. She can't touch the screen with her fingers, she uses her knuckles. it freaks her out if she has to open the bags. I have asked her numerous times if she needs help and she always says no. The other day it was hurting me to watch her struggle to open the bag. I went up to her pretending I was fixing the gum display and quietly said - would you like me to open the bag for you?I won't touch it. I will put a bag over my hand.. She said, yes please.. I made progress...
Click to expand...

I really LOOOOVVVVEEE this. The fact you have paid attention to a guest and helped them in a way they feel comfortable, is amazing. Not all weird guests are bad. I'm sure it's not something they chose. So great work!

My stories don't even come close. The weirdest thing, was when I was shopping in plain clothes. A guy came over to ask me a question.
"I know you work here, I've seen you many times. Can you tell me where x item is located."

I did tell him because I would at any other store being a guest. But it did creep me out that I don't even remotely recognize the guy.
 
Thank you. I do try to be helpful. If someone is annoying because of a legitimate reason, I will be patient.

I haven't had a true annoying get in my face guest in a while. It may because I do care less, have been very tired lately and give in often now.

Did have one who went off on me because the paper-towels she picked were not part of the promo. She told me that she knows how target is and because I called back to ask about the promo, they took the sign down. She told me she was not crazy but she knows the game we play.
 
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We have a guest we call Crazy Katie. Katie will come in the store, completely fill up a cart, then demand a team member scan every item to see if it's on Cartwheel. No matter how many times we tell her she could do that herself, she insists somebody else do it for her. And if you ask her to wait or can't access it (we have a few hot spots in the store where we can't access the Internet), she starts having a screaming fit - loud enough that everybody in the store can hear it. Team members actually hide when they see her come in. I often work the Fitting Room. One day, she came back there to try on some clothes. I had heard the stories, but had never met her. Several times she asked me if a pair of athletic shorts fit. They were very tight, but I figured she wasn't the kind of person who wanted to hear the honest answer, so I told her they looked wonderful. She turns to me and says "Are you Jewish?" I thought it was a weird question coming out of nowhere, but I admitted I was. She then turns to me and very enthusiastically says "I love ethnic people". I just stared at her and said "Ummmm....thank you?"
 
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