Archived Caught in the Middle?

[NPC]

How do you handle times where you get stuck in the middle of drama between team members?

A few days ago, someone told me they didn't like a certain TL over a questionable comment they made to them. I didn't really know what to say really because I wasn't there to witness any of it, and the team member's interpretation of what happened, sounded out of character for how I'd expect that TL to act. Normally, I wouldn't mind shooting the shit in complaints about managment, but I'm not in a position to do that, so I didn't know what to say. So I basically said, "oh that's weird" and left it at that and was impartial as I could possibly be.

How do you guys handle situations like that? How should these complaints be treated? I figure he was just blowing off some steam, and wanted me to rant with him, but that didn't feel appropriate so I had to brush him off basically. The issue seemed petty to me, but I see how it could become a bigger issue. I thought about bringing it up to the TL he complained to me about so I could hear both sides, but I decided I had no business in getting involved. How do you guys avoid getting caught in issues like this? And for people in TL positions, how do you handle this? How do you go about listening to when someone is just blowing off some steam, and then knowing when something is a real issue that should be addressed?

 

[Kompa]

I like the middle

 

[NKG]

I think just offer advice on what you would do if it were an issue to you that way you sound concerning but not taking sides.

 

[Yetive]

"Wow, what do you plan to do about that?" usually works. It isn't completely dismissive, but also shows that you aren't interested in joining in. Might even get the TM to talk to the TL.

 

[SnorlaxTM]

It all kinda depends on the complaint honestly, I'd rather offer suggestions or something if someone voices a complaint.

 

[redeye58]

We have an older TM in the FR who has two stock phrases whenever she hears something:
If someone is bragging/blowing their own horn, she says "Oh, that's nice." with little emotion.
If someone is talking trash about someone else, she says "Oh, that's too bad." the same way.
It's kept her out of drama & politics pretty well.

 

[HRZone]

"Wow, what do you plan to do about that?" usually works. It isn't completely dismissive, but also shows that you aren't interested in joining in. Might even get the TM to talk to the TL.

This is the best way to handle these situations. When you process their feelings and solutions with a TM you guide them without getting personally involved. If you give advice, you run the risk of them saying "So and so told me to..."

 

[smashandthrash]

I thought this was going to be about a situation where someone talks shit about another to you and then the other person talks shit about the original shit talker to you. They both hate each other. It's a shit fest and you're in the middle.

Sorry. Please continue.

 

[commiecorvus]

Empathy, 'So what I hear you are saying ...' type statements that don't commit you to anything but show you are listening.
Direction, 'Do you have a plan to deal with..." and then nod.

After that,

 

[BigEyedPhish]

I usually pretend to care and have empathy, then I forget about it.

 

[cobycord]

How do you handle times where you get stuck in the middle of drama between team members?

A few days ago, someone told me they didn't like a certain TL over a questionable comment they made to them. I didn't really know what to say really because I wasn't there to witness any of it, and the team member's interpretation of what happened, sounded out of character for how I'd expect that TL to act. Normally, I wouldn't mind shooting the shit in complaints about managment, but I'm not in a position to do that, so I didn't know what to say. So I basically said, "oh that's weird" and left it at that and was impartial as I could possibly be.

How do you guys handle situations like that? How should these complaints be treated? I figure he was just blowing off some steam, and wanted me to rant with him, but that didn't feel appropriate so I had to brush him off basically. The issue seemed petty to me, but I see how it could become a bigger issue. I thought about bringing it up to the TL he complained to me about so I could hear both sides, but I decided I had no business in getting involved. How do you guys avoid getting caught in issues like this? And for people in TL positions, how do you handle this? How do you go about listening to when someone is just blowing off some steam, and then knowing when something is a real issue that should be addressed?

If it was a TL talking about another TL i'd just tell them they needed to talk to them about their issue and handle it like adults. If it was a TM talking about a TL I'd first tell them they needed to find a way to work together and if they needed to to have a meeting with that TL and the TL's ETL. If they said this in front of you then it became your business when you heard it. I had an issue like that when I was a TM and in general I think it's so much better when conversations are had in front of the appropriate audience because there's no she said this or he said that and usually the true problem comes out before they leave the office.If your a TL also and feel comfortable talking to the other TL about what the TM says you could talk to them and still keep them anonymous if need be because it might have just been a misunderstanding. If nothings done about it then in essence you've become part of the problem by 1)Not telling the TM they shouldn't be talking negatively about a leader in the building out in the open and 2)Letting a situation stir into something that might get worst and impact job performance