Archived Funny Things you hear on the walkie

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doxiemama

doxiemama

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Just this past week, I heard a few things that made me laugh.

#1 - LOD: Team members, if you are going to use the phone to dial out, please be careful that you only hit 91 instead of 911. Police are getting upset by the many calls coming from the store.

#2 - LOD: Softline ladies, a guest is in Girls wanting an outfit off the mannequin. Me: No problem, I can go up and take care of that. LOD: Whatever you do, DO NOT LEAVE THE MANNEQUIN NAKED!

Any other chuckles out there?
 
I am amused by the misunderstandings and how team members, ETLs, and TLs are oblivious and act like they're in their own universe.

For example, LOD says "grocery, meat, and produce please come to receiving to unload the FDC truck".
5 minutes later "grocery I need you up at register 5 for a price check".

Another one, Bob says "this is Bob in grocery, I'm taking my 30 minute lunch".
2 minutes later, "Bob, can you help a guest on W7".

ETL to me on walkie "what's your location".
Me "I'm in electronics pulling flexible fulfillment".
Electronics team member "what was that about electronics, does someone need help in electronics".

I have come to the conclusion that most people in the building only listen for their name and department to be said on the walkie talkie.
 
We have a running gag at our store about a cart attendant who only has two settings when it comes to walkies:

1) SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS
2) "WHAT DO YOU WANT I'M BUSY"

And I'm always amused by one of the daytime fitting room operators.

Op: "Guest service you have a call! Please it it up!"
Op: "Hello guest services? Please pick up the call."
Op: "Is anyone at Guest Service there's a call waiting"
GS: "I'm with a guest give me a second."
Op: "Ok.... GUEST SERVICE YOU HAVE A CALL WAITING"

Like this isn't even like the 2nd attempt yet to get in contact someone, this is the first call. Rapid fire nonstop "GUEST SERVICE????" over the walkie.
 
doxiemama said:
#1 - LOD: Team members, if you are going to use the phone to dial out, please be careful that you only hit 91 instead of 911. Police are getting upset by the many calls coming from the store.
Click to expand...

This seems like a rather big issue. You'd think the telephone system would be set up to NOT accidentally call 911.
 
LOD: Cart Attendant where are you!?
Me(off walkie): Right behind you.
LOD: Oh, hello.

STL: How many REDCards are we at this morning?
GSTL: 2.
STL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Team, please you're gonna make me cry. Please get some more.

(Taken from the silly interview page)
Amy: Hey team, is there someone else here for a second interview?
Rob: Hey I can do it Amy, is it right now.
Amy: Oh, uh is there anyone else here?
Rob: You don't want me in the interview?
Amy: Go to channel 2 Rob.

HR: GSA are you busy right now?
GSTL: Yes I'm with a guest right now.
*HR comes out of office to check Guest Services and sees that the GSTL isn't busy.
HR(on walkie and like 5 feet away from GSTL): Come to my office GSTL.

My favorites are when people get roasted over the walkie. I know its nothing to joke about, someone getting in a little trouble, but its just funny to hear everything go down.
 
(After another Etl complained that it was difficult to get people to respond over the walkie, lod chuckled and said watch this)

LOD: Larry come in (knowing damn well there's no Larry in the store)

First person to respond: Uhh, there's no Larry here

LOD: You then, I got a huge pull on the line, come knock it out
 
doxiemama said:
#1 - LOD: Team members, if you are going to use the phone to dial out, please be careful that you only hit 91 instead of 911. Police are getting upset by the many calls coming from the store.
Click to expand...

I've thankfully never had to call 911 while in the store, but wouldn't you need to dial 9911?
 
Our SL team isn't very good. There's a lot of friction between one of their TL and the TM's. The other night, they got in a bit of a row over the walkie.

SLTM(A): TL [name], I'm taking my 30.
SLTL: Okay SLTM(A), but could you please answer your walkie for once?
SLTM(A): What was that?
SLTM(B): She said go on your meal SLTM(A).
LOD: Hey Softlines, can you guys get it together and act like adults? Please?

I was together with my mid-GSA that day and we couldn't stop laughing for over 5 minutes.
 
PogDog said:
This seems like a rather big issue. You'd think the telephone system would be set up to NOT accidentally call 911.
Click to expand...
I feel like it happens everytime we have to call Kodak too.
 
I only ever called 911 on the red phones because they're awful. If you dial out on a cordless or a fancy operator phone then it's harder to do.
 
I remember my first 911 call... Hr wanted me to call the "800" number, said to dial 9, then 1, then the number.... The number they show you on the piece of paper started off "1-800---"... I dialed the 1 then immediately hung up realizing what I did
 
After responding 4 times in a row to backup cashier i sarcastically called out "does anyone else in this store have a walkie" *still no response* "Nope, i didnt think so." So i told my gstl the plan and i called out "team chick fil a just brought fresh sandwiches. Get them while theyre hot" on the walkie and everyone who went up got thrown on a register.
 
ClearanceMaster said:
After responding 4 times in a row to backup cashier i sarcastically called out "does anyone else in this store have a walkie" *still no response* "Nope, i didnt think so." So i told my gstl the plan and i called out "team chick fil a just brought fresh sandwiches. Get them while theyre hot" on the walkie and everyone who went up got thrown on a register.
Click to expand...

Which means I can work in peace. Cause I won't eat that shit.
 
ClearanceMaster said:
After responding 4 times in a row to backup cashier i sarcastically called out "does anyone else in this store have a walkie" *still no response* "Nope, i didnt think so." So i told my gstl the plan and i called out "team chick fil a just brought fresh sandwiches. Get them while theyre hot" on the walkie and everyone who went up got thrown on a register.
Click to expand...
Anytime I hear something like this on a walkie I hide. I don't care if someone has "brought" Lobster or even the Red Lobster Cheese Biscuits. Its always a trap.
 
My favorite is:
"Team, can we have back up to the front please, back to the front"
*crickets*
"TEAM, WE NEED BACKUP TO THE FRONT PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*crickets*
"IF YOU CAN HEAR ME ON THIS WALKIE, I NEED YOU (this part is usually static) UP FRONT NOW"
TM: "What?"
"COME UP FOR BACKUP!"
TM: "I'm with a guest."

:p
 
When I was back room we all used channel 2. Some things I've done:
-I had one of those duck pens we sold in one spot that would quack when you pushed its head in, would do that over the walkie
-fart gun, duh
-Couple of years ago there was a Geico commercial with Eddie Money and the two tickets to paradise song. For whatever reason back room would sing "I got, two tickets to paradise!" Over the walkie.. I did this once, and then found out promptly that another BR team member was up at guest service doing a carry out and the guest had jokingly suggested I try out for American idol
 
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