Archived Gross Stories

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One night, a family of the finest breeding was visitng my department. The overweight parents smelled as if they hadn't bathed in a week. While they were busy shopping for country CDs, their chubby kid is walking around coughing without trying to cover or stifle it. He coughed on everything he approached. I really wanted to bomb the whole family with Lysol and a can of Axe.
 
wageslave1138 said:
One night, a family of the finest breeding was visitng my department. The overweight parents smelled as if they hadn't bathed in a week. While they were busy shopping for country CDs, their chubby kid is walking around coughing without trying to cover or stifle it. He coughed on everything he approached. I really wanted to bomb the whole family with Lysol and a can of Axe.
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We have 91% alcohol and air freshener in the pharmacy for guests like these 😉
 
our pfresh team back in the day was retarded and would NOT FIFO for the life of them, so for a week straight, the cheese section over in pfresh smelled like it was rotting, and no one did anything about it until my STL flipped a b*tch and demanded those retards to re do the whole section, they found at least 20 bags of expired cheese just rotting and turning green.
 
Uuuuughhhhhghhhh. NASTY.

We're coming up on it being a year since our store had a massive power outage that resulted in losing every single blessed perishable we had, so I know I'll never find anything THAT old, but I still find some doozies when doing Freshness Friday in dry market. It's amazing how you can go over an aisle every few weeks and STILL pull off product that is about six months expired every. single. time. Doing a really thorough cull of the backroom probably wouldn't hurt.
 
I have enough fun collecting discarded coffee/drink cups left all over the place; but... man do I really hate it when someone lets their kid leave their half eaten food on a shelf. Found half a banana once and this morning it was pieces of a chocolate donut. Then again, for all I know... could have been an adult. -_-
 
I've had to clean up where some idiot has spit his snuff on the shelves several times.

A few days ago, I found a Starbucks cup that had apparently been purposefully hidden (it was on a shelf at the end of an aisle all the way in the back corner). It had been there long enough to start smelling. I threw it away in a nearby trash can (which are apparently completely invisible to guests) and it stank up the aisle the rest of the night.

Oh, and I found a used diaper in grocery one night while zoning. I didn't open it to see if it was number 1 or number 2, but still... what kind of horrible excuse for a person does that?
 
My first month on the job a little boy pulled down his pants and unceremoniously pooped in the accessories section.

Also I have had the chance to bear witness to such atrocities of hygiene and sanitation as guests wiping their noses on dresses on the clearance racks, and testing out the lipsticks and eyeliners on their very own lips and eyes, right there and then.

This is why i laugh when people gush over how CLEAN target stores are...
 
Our lipstick aisle has a support beam in it. Someone decided to test a shade by kissing it.
 
Right before a big visit, I was tasked to figure out why the soda fountain drain was clogging up. I, of course, poured some coffee maker hot water down. Still clogged up. Since it wasn't busy, I took the drain pipe apart and snaked it. Then out came a solidified mass that looked like solid cream of chicken.
 
Or Code Red.

And that doesn't mean from an injury, if you catch my drift...
 
redeye58 said:
Code green is injury-related; code red is normally related to fire but there's plenty of variants, I'm sure.
I've had more than my quota of code browns in the past, tho.
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I have my own system in Food Ave:

Code Red is Ketchup or Cherry ICEE splatter.
Code Yellow is Mustard splatter.
Code Green is Relish splatter.
Code Brown is BBQ sauce, soda, or Coke ICEE splatter.
Code Blue is Blue Raspberry ICEE splatter.

🙂
 
I work and in HBA and I HATE IT when women go over to the brushes and start brushing their hair with them AND THEN THEY PUt THEM BACK!
 
mrknownothing said:
That One Guy said:
I work and in HBA and I HATE IT when women go over to the brushes and start brushing their hair with them AND THEN THEY PUt THEM BACK!
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Just wait until you see them do that with lipstick.
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Or nail polish.
Our cosmetics captain said the next time she caught girls 'testing' the polish on her fixtures, she'd sit on 'em & paint 'em up like a Kachina.
 
We have a guest in pharmacy (hopefully not for long, see the "to that one guest" thread) who is utterly disgusting. Not only does she smell like a port-a-potty, she comes in wearing shirts that she has "modified" into sleeveless t-shirts (and not very well) without a bra. I had the misfortune of catching the side-view one day :bad: On the occasion she DOES wear a bra, she keeps her money and cell-phone tucked into the strap or cup, and let me tell you, during the summer months, you do NOT want to touch the $$ that comes out without some sort of "protection" (I have seriously pulled out the rubber gloves that the pharmacists use for the flu shots to pick up said $$ and sprayed it down with alcohol before putting it in the register). :bad: :bad: :bad:
 
redeye58 said:
mrknownothing said:
That One Guy said:
I work and in HBA and I HATE IT when women go over to the brushes and start brushing their hair with them AND THEN THEY PUt THEM BACK!
Click to expand...

Just wait until you see them do that with lipstick.
Click to expand...
Or nail polish.
Our cosmetics captain said the next time she caught girls 'testing' the polish on her fixtures, she'd sit on 'em & paint 'em up like a Kachina.
Click to expand...

Wait, till you see a guest do it with hair gel & put back on the shelve, after running her fingers through her hair.
 
just recently when i walked into the pharmacy restroom... somebody wiped their ass, and threw the toilet paper on the floor, and thats just right after they smeared it all over the toilet seat...fucking savages i swear
 
Me and my fellow team member were zoning HBA and found a tampon in the liquid hand soap shelf. Apparently the trash wasn't close where ever this person changed it.

Also a team member told us once that he was passing by the bathrooms and that this lady asked him if he could check on her husband because he wasn't feeling well (he was in the men's restroom) he tells us that he goes inside the restroom, sees the guy standing by the cubicle and......SQUIRTTT!!! the guy splashes the area around the cubicle :bad::bad::bad: and that the guy just looks at him. My coworker said he got weirded/grossed out he just walked out. after this I couldn't stand hearing anymore so I left lol. Don't know what happened afterwards.
 
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