To that one guest

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"My ex husband's from Ghana. He's dark like you. What color shirts would look good for him?"
That was super awkward, but thanks for giving me a story to tell, I guess.
 
to the ticket switchers...why oh why don't you take clothes in that you might actually fit in? Ladies there was no way you were mediums...not even if we painted them on.

to the ladies who were obviously trying to sell something to our guests....not your night either since you were escorted out of the building after I brought it to AP's attention (couldn't get the ETL's attention)

to the a s s wipes last night who *****ed and moaned and called me not so nice names after I enforced the rules...you are so lucky it was last night and not tonight...I am also. I was able to calm myself and just call for reinforcements last night, tonight I am pretty sure I would have needed degreaser and a new job.

to all of the kids who came in tonight....oh my goodness...you all were walking advertisements for birth control.
 
"My ex husband's from Ghana. He's dark like you. What color shirts would look good for him?"
That was super awkward, but thanks for giving me a story to tell, I guess.
Wow. wow...wow...wow...

it is because of things like this that I have come to view my time in the retail/public service industry as one person's REEEEAAALLY long, in-depth, undercover sociological/psychological research and/or experiment.

Though I may never publish a thesis, a biographical novel, or contribute to the good of the world on any large, far-reaching scale, that mindset helps the days go off with no incidents.
 
To the guests who always INSIST we have something in the store just because the website said we did. The website LIES a good bit of the time. We sell out of things, that isn't accurate. ALWAYS check first. Or make sure it specifically says THIS store. Just because it says "available in store" doesn't mean this particular one has it. Not all stores have the exact same product. Don't yell at me, yell at corporate. Or actually do your homework and pay attention.
 
To the guests who always INSIST we have something in the store just because the website said we did. The website LIES a good bit of the time. We sell out of things, that isn't accurate. ALWAYS check first. Or make sure it specifically says THIS store. Just because it says "available in store" doesn't mean this particular one has it. Not all stores have the exact same product. Don't yell at me, yell at corporate. Or actually do your homework and pay attention.

I was told that and the info the PDAs access is only updated once a day, so it's not always accurate. I always tell them that and they're okay with it.
 
Thankfully these days custom...ahhh...eh..GUESTS..are more savvy as to how these things work...

Mind you, though, we do have TMs who will tell a guest, "Oh, it says we have ONE IN STOCK"..."let me find it for you" ...

( By "me", they usually mean Shopgirl...)

( Seems to be an even split between TMs who don't seem to get that the one precious in stock could be at guest service, could be in a guest's cart, could be any number of unforeseen places, and the ones who just want to indirectly have a go at me... )

( Still...don't lead the guest on, people. it's not fair to any of us... )
 
Oh, and while I'm thinking of it...

To the animal ( four-legged ) that wandered into my store the other day:

I don't know what you thought you were doing there unsupervised at that time of day-or, really, at all-and you didn't seem to know either. You apparently left of your own accord, and I hope that you are safe, happy, and well, wherever you are...

And if you have human companions, I really hope they have a microchip in you, or at least, like, a collar, or something,,,
 
Thankfully these days custom...ahhh...eh..GUESTS..are more savvy as to how these things work...

Mind you, though, we do have TMs who will tell a guest, "Oh, it says we have ONE IN STOCK"..."let me find it for you" ...

( By "me", they usually mean Shopgirl...)

( Seems to be an even split between TMs who don't seem to get that the one precious in stock could be at guest service, could be in a guest's cart, could be any number of unforeseen places, and the ones who just want to indirectly have a go at me... )

( Still...don't lead the guest on, people. it's not fair to any of us... )

Don't forget the "one" that's the display model. "No I can't sell the display, this item is still active....."
And if I did sell it to you it's as is- as in probably broken or gonna break because its been on the sales floor where everyone touches it. So don't come back complaining in a week about how a button fell of or some other junk. You wanted the Display!
 
Item Search is supposedly updated every 15 minutes. I have never tested it, but it seems to have the most accurate OH data out of any of our easily accessible reports or website. But it's still not always accurate.
 
"Your light isn't on."
Yep, I know I'm just backing up real fast to help clear out the herd of ya'll that had to leave the store at the same time.......

On the opposite - thanks for noticing my light was off, asking if I was still open for a guest, and when I took you and was about half way through, you turned to the young lady who walked up behind you and started adding to the belt and you said, "I believe this young lady is closing. You should go to another line."
Super :)
You can come through and protect my leaving backup anytime!
 
"Your light isn't on."
Yep, I know I'm just backing up real fast to help clear out the herd of ya'll that had to leave the store at the same time.......

On the opposite - thanks for noticing my light was off, asking if I was still open for a guest, and when I took you and was about half way through, you turned to the young lady who walked up behind you and started adding to the belt and you said, "I believe this young lady is closing. You should go to another line."
Super :)
You can come through and protect my leaving backup anytime!

I had a guest come through my line once after my light was off...and was rather rude to me pointing out my light was off. I smiled sweetly and said, "that's because I'm closed and trying to get off this lane." The guest quickly apologized and got a lot nicer.
 
To that one guest: If you're going to wear your pants below your culo, at least wear a long shirt to cover everything. No one wants to see your salmon-colored skivvies.

To the guy behind him in line: If you feel so strongly about the position of the previous guest's pants, it might be more useful to rant to him about it rather than myself. Just saying.
 
Now that I have transistioned from TM to guest, I hope I get one of those end of receipt surveys so I can keep asking...Why are your shelves empty and why is there no one to help me? Of course I know the answer..because corporate has it's head up it's ass and won't allocate the hours needed to properly run a store. Question though.. will this help or hurt the friends I've left behind?
 
I started filling anonymous guest surveys years before I left.

After I left, I've started trashing my old bosses' department scores (Guest Service).

Checkout is NOT FAST!!!! :)

Karma can be a ***** (for them).
 
Please read the coupon before giving it to me. For example, you would need 4 items of Patene (sp?) in order to receive $4 off of your order. It clearly says this on the coupon. You can't go to the manager to excuse your stupidity or "unintelligence"(sic). The same goes for the $2 off with minimum $10 purchase coupon. I could excuse your lack of comprehension of the English language but since I couldn't detect an accent from you, you should know better.
 
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To THOSE guests...

"Where is the bathroom?"
Literally 5 feet away from you.

"Where is the return place? I don't want to go to guest services, my car is running just fine!"
Uh... WHAT?

"Hey we spilled something! You got it? 'Kay, thanks!"
You stupid motherf*****.
 
if there is one thing i cant STAND, is when guests barge into receiving and or start walking around the backroom, like seriously, idc how bad you have to take a s**t, your not using our restroom back here.
 
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