To that one guest

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I hate it when guests think I can make items magically appear. I had a mom and her daughter ask if we had any "minion tic-tacs." I told her "no." You know, because we fucking don't. To which she said, "Well can you check, I saw online that you did." Which means she probably just saw a picture of them on Facebook with zero connection to Target. So, I check on Target.com on our iPad at guest service. "No, I'm sorry we don't carry those here." She STILL insists, "Well can you ask someone?" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? OH AM I JUST A LIAR?! For fuck's sake! What do you mean, "ask someone." I AM someone! I work here! I know what we do and don't have! What the fuck is asking someone else going to do? I'm not "unsure" if we have it or not. I'm TELLING you that I KNOW we DON'T have it! Shit like that seriously burns my toast because it's just such an irrelevant waste of time that makes no logical fucking sense.

Minions are annoying too. Of course someone that into these fucking things would be that big of a fucking idiot.
 
Yesterday was my orientation as a hardlines TM, but I've worked similar positions in retail at other stores before for about two years. After orientation I'm making my way to the restroom when a guest stops and asks me to help her locate something...

I've read some of the horror stories of people getting in trouble for "working off the clock" and even though I knew exactly where to send her, I figured I'd play it safe. I smiled and politely told the woman "I'm sorry ma'am, I'm currently off the clock, but there's another staff member one aisle over that I'm sure would be happy to assist you." I also gestured in the direction of the working TM with my hand. Y'know, one of those points where you flatten your hand and use the whole damn thing to point because it's so much more polite? Yeah...

Dear Lord you would think I had just killed her entire family and burned down her house if you heard her reaction. "You ignorant piece of s*it! I am a paying f*cking customer! How DARE you speak to me that way! I demand to speak to your manager right now! I swear to Christ I will f*cking ruin you!"

Mind you, I haven't worked for Target for more than two hours and was literally 10 minutes out of orientation. I have no name tag, no walkie, and I don't even know who my ETL or the LOD even is. The guest continued to berate me and throw insults as I attempted to say "Ok ma'am, I'm sorry you feel that way. I'll find a supervisor for you." I'm pretty sure she didn't even hear me say that over her rambling. I quickly found the TM I was referring to to begin with, explained the situation, and excused myself, hopeful that this TM would be able to calm her down or get some form of supervision to help her relax. Needless to say the LOD showed up and told me not to worry about it, and sent me on my way.

If there's one thing that my past two years in retail have taught me, it's that people who've never worked in retail are a different breed and just have a whole 'nother way of seeing the world when they shop.. And we're the ones who've got to deal with it. Cheers to us! The name-tag wearing, shelf stocking, cart pushing and insult receiving retail workers of the world!
 
TTOG: I could hear a very young baby crying for about 10 to 15 minutes. Finally I see you strolling thru shoes, then across the aisle into baby, then into socks. The whole time your baby is still crying. PICK UP YOUR FUCKING CHILD? WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU!!!!! I am screaming this in my head. Finally I don't hear anything. Next thing I know, I see you carrying your child. I remark to her how cute she is and ask her how old she is. When you tell me 9 days, I wanted to punch you in your face.
 
Why do I see you every dayright at opening... Damn mommy blogger :|
 
commiecorvus said:
Sorry you had to go through that first day.
Hope that your next few days are better @JerseyGuy3
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redeye58 said:
@JerseyGuy3: Welcome to the red & khaki nuthouse.
You have now been officially baptized.
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I'm used to it really. Like I said, I worked a similar retail job for about two years before Spot. Doesn't make me think less of the company, just less of society as a whole. Oh well. Thanks for the warm welcomes.
 
TTOG: I'm sorry that I could not sell you a phone. I'm not sorry I called over the 6'5" TPS to help you understand what I was saying once you said "kid, you had better sell me this iPhone before I give you the ass whooping your parents obviously don't." I'm also not sorry that I waved bye at you as you and your trespass notice were escorted out.
 
Target NPC said:
I hate it when guests think I can make items magically appear. I had a mom and her daughter ask if we had any "minion tic-tacs." I told her "no." You know, because we fucking don't. To which she said, "Well can you check, I saw online that you did." Which means she probably just saw a picture of them on Facebook with zero connection to Target. So, I check on Target.com on our iPad at guest service. "No, I'm sorry we don't carry those here." She STILL insists, "Well can you ask someone?" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? OH AM I JUST A LIAR?! For fuck's sake! What do you mean, "ask someone." I AM someone! I work here! I know what we do and don't have! What the fuck is asking someone else going to do? I'm not "unsure" if we have it or not. I'm TELLING you that I KNOW we DON'T have it! Shit like that seriously burns my toast because it's just such an irrelevant waste of time that makes no logical fucking sense.

Minions are annoying too. Of course someone that into these fucking things would be that big of a fucking idiot.
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Just pick up the phone at guest services and pretend to call someone. And do it just quickly enough that he is not 100% sure if you were actually talking to anyone or not.
 
TTOG: You insisted on speaking to someone over the phone from the domestics department, even though I said that I could help you. Then after being on hold for 3 minutes, you tell me: "I'm not going to be on hold forever. If there's no one that can help me over there, just say so. Otherwise I'll shop somewhere else."

Alright, first of all. How the hell do you go to the DMV, pay off credit cards, or deal with any type of customer service issue ever if you can't be on hold for 3 minutes?!
Second of all. I just said I could help you and you said you'd wait. So do you really think that your request for a type of quilt from Target is so unique and specific that only a bedding expert is qualified to answer it? If so, kindly climb off of your high horse and enter reality.
Thirdly. I get paid by the hour, not by commission. I'm not a salesman and I sure as hell don't care if you buy anything or not. I can assure you that no one in this store gives a flying fuck if you shop somewhere else. I will gladly assist you in taking your business to Walmart. Have a nice day.;)
 
Bullselle said:
TTOG: You insisted on speaking to someone over the phone from the domestics department, even though I said that I could help you. Then after being on hold for 3 minutes, you tell me: "I'm not going to be on hold forever. If there's no one that can help me over there, just say so. Otherwise I'll shop somewhere else."

Alright, first of all. How the hell do you go to the DMV, pay off credit cards, or deal with any type of customer service issue ever if you can't be on hold for 3 minutes?!
Second of all. I just said I could help you and you said you'd wait. So do you really think that your request for a type of quilt from Target is so unique and specific that only a bedding expert is qualified to answer it? If so, kindly climb off of your high horse and enter reality.
Thirdly. I get paid by the hour, not by commission. I'm not a salesman and I sure as hell don't care if you buy anything or not. I can assure you that no one in this store gives a flying fuck if you shop somewhere else. I will gladly assist you in taking your business to Walmart. Have a nice day.;)
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And if she honestly thinks she's not going to be on hold at Walmart for as long (if not longer), I have a bridge in California I'd like to sell her ;)
 
TTOG, the fact that you have a TON of texts on your phone, but "must have deleted" the "text you JUST received" saying your Rx was ready for pickup (which was actually returned to stock 3 days ago), and you INSISTING that it was the ONLY text you received when I asked to see it only bolsters my belief that you are lying through your teeth. Well, that and the fact that this happens almost EVERY month :rolleyes:
 
tgtcpht said:
And if she honestly thinks she's not going to be on hold at Walmart for as long (if not longer), I have a bridge in California I'd like to sell her ;)
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I send people to Walmart all the time lol. But I actually like my Walmart so that's not the same. They have a million people working at once, lately. Some of them just walk around in circles (maybe they're the wm equiv to etls lol).

To all the guests ever, I DON'T KNOW these in depth details. I can read you the package, though. If the box or tag doesn't mention it, I'm gonna guess no, it doesn't have that feature.
 
To that one (special few) guests. When I see a large item/box in your cart and I ask if you need any assistance with getting it to your car, please don't get all macho and roll up your t-shirt sleeve to reveal your muscles. Ladies please don't get all feminist and tell me how you got the item in your cart so obviously you don't need any help. A large item may block your view while maneuvering the parking lot. Something could shift and fall. While loading your car you could sprain something. So, since you're superhuman and need no help, I hope you fall flat on your smug face! Next time a "no thank you" will do.
 
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TTOG: Stop saying "you know that ______ " and "you know what it is." Don't be so presumptuous. No, I don't know what you're looking for, that's why I'm looking it up. If you wander away while I'm doing a search for you and leave me with your adult son, I'm not going play hide and seek to track you down. I'm going to tell him where to find said item and he can find you afterwards.
Sorrynotsorry I went on break right after I helped you.
 
TTO(5 yo)G: You are too freaking smooth for your age. He walked up to me claiming that he lost his Mommy, so I took his hand and we walked around for a bit to look for her, and when we found her, he giggled and said, "I wasn't really lost. I just wanted to hold your hand." You suave little charmer. You're going to do just fine in this world, little man.
 
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