I'll admit to doing very little if any looking for the past year or two. Even though the hours suck, the pay sucks, and now they're trying to put me on flow so now my sleep sucks, I find it very difficult to leave from a mental stand point.
Even though it's been a solid five-seven years since then, I still remember what it was like trying to do applications every week for months while unemployed, never getting so much as a peep from any prospective employers. Even for the low entry jobs such as retail worker or gas station attendant. And the few times I would land an interview, I felt like I would always bomb the interview, whether it be not giving the answers they want to hear, or not having anything to ask them, or whatever else. There was once I was unemployed for close to a year, and while my motivation / confidence has never been high, that just made everything worse mentally.
Combine that with my current situation, and it's even harder. The town I live in is practically all warehouse jobs to some degree (aside from the retail stores) Did assembly work for a month through a temp agency for a month and learned real quick how much I hated that atmospshere. While I can be a sensitive person, I've learned to shrug a lot of it off. But that job, after one week I wanted to quit and burn the place down and when I was let go after a month was one of the happier moments considering.
Also the fact I need to get dental work done and have my first appointment in a month. And with having dental insurance (at least until Target decides to cut that), it's a slight buffer instead of leaving, starting over somewhere else, and having no benefits until who knows how long (and I've put off dental work long enough as is).
So while I realize my situation is crap and I need to get out, as bad as Target can be, it's still a safety net that I am able to fall back on. I feel I don't have to worry about being fired or anything along those lines.
And at least with hours being as bad as they are right now, it's giving me a chance to try my hand at streaming over on Twitch which is something I've wanted to try for some time. I may never be successful at it, and even if I am, could take years, but it's maybe the one thing I feel I have some hope left with in my life.