Being in development and having a crush on a team member.

C

CartoonPenguin

Joined
Sep 20, 2021
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138
I'm a GM team member who's currently in development for a lead role. One of our GM leaders is officially leaving the company next week and my SD and HR ETL have both been having some talks with me about my development and the plan going forward. My SD gave me the "My Development Plan" worksheet that some of you may be aware of and it looks like things are moving in a good direction for me.

That being said, I'm in a bit of a predicament. I've developed feelings for one of the GM TM's. She was a seasonal hire back in November and it looks like she's here to stay. I really like here and I want to ask her out, but I'm keeping in mind that if I do get promoted, then she'll be my subordinate and I know all about how the company forbids that. I'm well aware that I'm still just a regular TM and we'd currently be allowed to date, but I'm just thinking about the future and how things could be impacted. Hell, there's a few other girls in the store whom I wouldn't mind getting to know better. A couple in Starbucks and one at Guest Services, which would make things slightly easier since we're in different departments, but I've known my SD long enough to know that she doesn't really approve of any form of TM dating.

What should I do here? I'm not trying to do anything that would risk my development into a leader, but I just really like this one GM team member. Is there any way to navigate this so as to get 100% what I want?
 
CartoonPenguin said:
I'm a GM team member who's currently in development for a lead role. One of our GM leaders is officially leaving the company next week and my SD and HR ETL have both been having some talks with me about my development and the plan going forward. My SD gave me the "My Development Plan" worksheet that some of you may be aware of and it looks like things are moving in a good direction for me.

That being said, I'm in a bit of a predicament. I've developed feelings for one of the GM TM's. She was a seasonal hire back in November and it looks like she's here to stay. I really like here and I want to ask her out, but I'm keeping in mind that if I do get promoted, then she'll be my subordinate and I know all about how the company forbids that. I'm well aware that I'm still just a regular TM and we'd currently be allowed to date, but I'm just thinking about the future and how things could be impacted. Hell, there's a few other girls in the store whom I wouldn't mind getting to know better. A couple in Starbucks and one at Guest Services, which would make things slightly easier since we're in different departments, but I've known my SD long enough to know that she doesn't really approve of any form of TM dating.

What should I do here? I'm not trying to do anything that would risk my development into a leader, but I just really like this one GM team member. Is there any way to navigate this so as to get 100% what I want?
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Did you come here for the obvious answer or something to make you feel better?

The obvious answer is, swallow your feelings and get on with the job.
There will be plenty of other people for you to date who won't be problematic.
It sucks but that's how life works nowadays.

The romantic answer is, go for it.
You never know when you will find true love and when the chance will come to find it.
This person may be the one and passing them up will be something you could regret for the rest of your life.
You only live once and you won't remember this job in 20 years but you will remember a good relationship.

Neither one of those answers are right or wrong.
But they both have consequences.
You just have to be willing to live them.
 
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Oh, to be young again. Ask the young lady out and go from there. She may be with you for the long haul, hopefully. The words "long haul" are not in targets lexicon. The crusty old Captain knows his stuff Jobs are a dime a dozen the right one ain't.
 
BackupTL said:
FFS this dude seems unstable honestly. I don't know how many times on how many posts he has to be told that's not normal before he gets it. Lmao
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We've moved on from that. My SD obviously doesn't think it's that big of a deal with her still being serious about keeping me in development.
 
Impress her with the fine dining experience only Costco has to offer. I did today with Mrs. Captain, slice of pizza for the queen and a foot-longer for the Captain. We shared a diet Pepsi. No expenses spared, got her pepperoni on the slice. She's worth it.
 
CartoonPenguin said:
I'm a GM team member who's currently in development for a lead role. One of our GM leaders is officially leaving the company next week and my SD and HR ETL have both been having some talks with me about my development and the plan going forward. My SD gave me the "My Development Plan" worksheet that some of you may be aware of and it looks like things are moving in a good direction for me.

That being said, I'm in a bit of a predicament. I've developed feelings for one of the GM TM's. She was a seasonal hire back in November and it looks like she's here to stay. I really like here and I want to ask her out, but I'm keeping in mind that if I do get promoted, then she'll be my subordinate and I know all about how the company forbids that. I'm well aware that I'm still just a regular TM and we'd currently be allowed to date, but I'm just thinking about the future and how things could be impacted. Hell, there's a few other girls in the store whom I wouldn't mind getting to know better. A couple in Starbucks and one at Guest Services, which would make things slightly easier since we're in different departments, but I've known my SD long enough to know that she doesn't really approve of any form of TM dating.

What should I do here? I'm not trying to do anything that would risk my development into a leader, but I just really like this one GM team member. Is there any way to navigate this so as to get 100% what I want?
Click to expand...
Is she even interested in you? Have you had any real conversations with her? Does she even know you exist? Or are you about to give up this career you seem to constantly want so badly?

Long story short. You can't have both. So pick one.
 
Simple problem, simple advice:
1.) You want to become a TL in GM.
2.) You want to date a GM-TM now and after you become a GM-TL.
3.) Company policy forbids leaders dating subordinates.
4.) Your SD doesn’t approve of any form of TM dating.
Therefore, you can either (continue trying to) become a TL or date the TM. Here’s a chance to use one of those skills that are necessary for leadership: prioritize. You can choose either your possible promotion or your dating life, but you can’t have both, not at Spot, anyway.
In case you think it’s possible to get promoted and date one of your team members on the sly without anyone finding out about it, that is a pipe dream. Stores are full of bored staff members doing repetitive tasks and looking for a little excitement or gossip to relieve that boredom. Sooner or later one of them will see a look, some body language, a “secret“ meeting or overhear a conversation, and the store grapevine will light up like a Christmas tree, providing the team with a lot of entertainment and you with a lot of misery. Seen it happen several times, and it doesn’t turn out well. Just saying.
 
It’s human nature to do what’s not supposed to do. Also I too wonder what the other person’s stand is . Is she interested in you ( without knowing you are going to be her TL soon)?
 
Young, instinctual drives, perfectly normal. Part of the maturing process is trial and error. You want the Target gig? Slow the flow of testosterone. Don't give a shit about the job? Go for it.
 

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