Archived Fantasy Target

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redeye58 said:
I turn as HLM calls to me & catch the large blade he tosses to me.
I start to stagger under the weight when a tingling envelops me; I heft the spearblade as it becomes familiar to my grasp.
"Now it gets interesting" I think to myself as I follow HLM to electronics.
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Look out, Dan!
 
As I arrive in Electronics I notice pieces of DVDs and games scattered around like tacks and notice Dan out of the corner of my eye. I get on the walkie and call for cleanup assistance and as I'm waiting for help to arrive I take a few pot shots with my platinum short bow+5 using beanbag and boxing glove arrows but barely miss Dan
 
I hear the fire alarm go off at the same time I see smoke billowing from the linens aisle.
"Let it be clearance for once!" I pray as I sprint over.
Using the spearblade like a polevault, I launch myself up to a header nearest the fire & hit a sprinkler with the flat side of the blade. Soon, the others come on raining the area with rancid water & the fire goes out.
 
*walks into store and observes chaos happening*

*hits the vanish button*

Thinks to self: "I think I'll just call in with the -itis today. Looks like whoever is in electronics will be doing a double today."
 
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coming to my senses after crash landing in jewelry, I realize my weapon is gone. seeing the flashes of light in domestics I head off there, but not before blasting down the door of the AP office to recover my gunblade. I fly back outta the hole where the door used to be and land amid the chaos in domestics. summoning a hoarde of guests to follow me I sprint toward @redeye58 and bellow a roar of challenge!
 
As a TL and I finish the clean up in Electronics I get a buzz from the cloaked tracking device that was attached to the gunblade stating that it had been removed from the AP office and asks if I want to activate the self-destruct device implanted within the weapon that not only melts the blade but also melts the firing pin and the front of the barrel making the weapon inoperable. I press the YES button while saying bubye as I head to domestics
 
I hear an approaching rumble & look down from the header to see Dying Sun followed by a mass of complaining guests.
"Oh HELL no...." I think as I use the spearblade to vault down & land facing DS.
He levels the gunblade at me, squeezes the trigger and.......nothing.....followed by enraged sputtering as DS swings the blade toward me. I block it with the spearblade, twirling it like a quarterstaff & clear the area of guests as they run off to the service desk.
Momentarily thrown off, DS lunges & grabs the middle of the spearblade. An electrifying aura surrounds us as we both grip the spearblade. A voice echos from above "This battle is not to be!" & a blinding flash jolts us apart.
As the air clears we stand blinking at each other, clad in smoldering red & khaki.
A nearby shriek jars us out of our reverie as Commie & HLM come up dragging Dan trussed in bungee cords.
The sprinklers have finally been shut off but the fire alarm continues for a while longer.
Kartman brings a charlie cart & begins moping up the aisles while muttering about crazy guests.
Afbratt helps Commie dump Dan into a cart & wheels him toward the AP office while Dan sings "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".
Dying Sun wrinkles his nose as he passes, saying "Whoa! You stink...."
I flick water out of my hair, "You're hardly a rose garden...."
He picks up the spearblade & rests it on his shoulder as we head back to the front of the store.
"Leadership is never gonna believe this...."
"Believe what?"
"Exactly."
 
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redeye58 said:
Nope, cleaning cart - holds the mop bucket, trash bag, broom, absorbix, etc.
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That makes more sense, I don't think we have one of those. All we have is a mop and mop bucket. Maybe the cart attendant is hiding it in one of their closets cause I've never seen it.
 
what the hell just happened lol and why am i holding Godsend and my gunblade? I don't remember bringing them to work with me. ah well I get on the walkie "team this is Dying Sun, im rolling out for the day everyone have a good one" shaking my head as I walk toward TSC, I cant help but think that im forgetting something. Ah probably just my head messing with me again. Then I see HLM and Commie wheeling Dan into the AP office. looking down at my weapons I start to wonder...... What the flying F*ck happened today?
 
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I cant believe how popular this thread has become eheheeh... I might have the original badge file somewhere..

good times.
 
Muttering to myself, "I'm sick and tired of all the motherf--king supernatural events in this mother f--king store" I climb the ladder up to the roof dragging a bucket full of iron filings and chicken blood.
Calling over the walkie, "Would someone turn off at alarm at TSC, I'm going on the roof.

For the next half hour I tramp protection runes in the snow and fill them in with the gunk from the bucket.

That should take care of that problem.
 
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

The CEO of Fantasy Target will be none other than ME. I have fired Tina Schiel or Tyler or whatever the hell she goes by now and VP of Stores will be none other than @redeye58. @Formina Sage will replace Casey Carl as the Chief Strategy and Innovation Officer whatever that is and Jodeen Kozlak will be demoted to a lowly part-time HR TM in T-0666 in Columbus Ohio and will be replaced by @Retail Girl.

Other positions forthcoming
 
daninnj said:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

The CEO of Fantasy Target will be none other than ME. I have fired Tina Schiel or Tyler or whatever the hell she goes by now and VP of Stores will be none other than @redeye58. @Formina Sage will replace Casey Carl as the Chief Strategy and Innovation Officer whatever that is and Jodeen Kozlak will be demoted to a lowly part-time HR TM in T-0666 in Columbus Ohio and will be replaced by @Retail Girl.

Other positions forthcoming
Click to expand...
I did get a pink slip?
 
daninnj said:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

The CEO of Fantasy Target will be none other than ME. I have fired Tina Schiel or Tyler or whatever the hell she goes by now and VP of Stores will be none other than @redeye58. @Formina Sage will replace Casey Carl as the Chief Strategy and Innovation Officer whatever that is and Jodeen Kozlak will be demoted to a lowly part-time HR TM in T-0666 in Columbus Ohio and will be replaced by @Retail Girl.

Other positions forthcoming
Click to expand...

so who's in charge of the Business Performance Optimization Center of Excellence
 
daninnj said:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

The CEO of Fantasy Target will be none other than ME. I have fired Tina Schiel or Tyler or whatever the hell she goes by now and VP of Stores will be none other than @redeye58. @Formina Sage will replace Casey Carl as the Chief Strategy and Innovation Officer whatever that is and Jodeen Kozlak will be demoted to a lowly part-time HR TM in T-0666 in Columbus Ohio and will be replaced by @Retail Girl.

Other positions forthcoming
Click to expand...
Woahhh Tina got married?!

And hey cool, I'm prettier than Casey Carl anyway 😉 image.jpg
 
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