Getting yelled at by team member

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Jan 22, 2020
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How do you handle when a team member rushes at you then yells at you? While their team lead and ETL sits and watches? All I could do is tell her how what she thought was calling her out wasn't that and that I apologized she felt that way. She kept going so I just kept apologizing. She finally walked away and the team lead was like thanks for doing that. I'm like thanks for not having my back.. I don't know what to do or how to handle it.
 
How do you handle when a team member rushes at you then yells at you? While their team lead and ETL sits and watches? All I could do is tell her how what she thought was calling her out wasn't that and that I apologized she felt that way. She kept going so I just kept apologizing. She finally walked away and the team lead was like thanks for doing that. I'm like thanks for not having my back.. I don't know what to do or how to handle it.

Keep in mind that they are more than likely handing it behind the scenes and you aren't going to know what is happening.
Take it as a compliment that they felt you were handling the situation so well they didn't need to step in.
They couldn't see the turmoil you felt on the inside, just that you were deescalating the situation very effectively.
That DOESN'T EXCUSE THEM from not doing anything, just that you should be proud of how you handled it.
Avoid the crazy person as much as possible.
Talk to your TL about not being scheduled with them.
Be polite about that and make it sound like you are concerned about the company.
Spots issues if this nutjob goes off again and you can't calm them down.
But don't expect to be told what they are going to do about her.
That's all an HR matter and they really can't
 
How do you handle when a team member rushes at you then yells at you? While their team lead and ETL sits and watches? All I could do is tell her how what she thought was calling her out wasn't that and that I apologized she felt that way. She kept going so I just kept apologizing. She finally walked away and the team lead was like thanks for doing that. I'm like thanks for not having my back.. I don't know what to do or how to handle it.
Are you a lead as well or a TM?
The TM that came at you may have been having a bad day, but I'm all about covering your own self. You were correct in keeping your cool and in how you handled it.My personal next move would have been immediately to HR to document. If it had happened previously... immediate CA. If not, one time pass.
 
"While their team lead and ETL sits and watches?"

And they said nothing at the time?

Great management there.

At my store nothing would happen to the yelling TM because they can't hire a replacement.

However I would contact HR and explain your situation and name all parties involved.

Put this on paper and followup with HR in a few days.

HR will not give you any explanation as to what they did however.
 
Keep in mind that they are more than likely handing it behind the scenes and you aren't going to know what is happening.
Take it as a compliment that they felt you were handling the situation so well they didn't need to step in.
They couldn't see the turmoil you felt on the inside, just that you were deescalating the situation very effectively.
That DOESN'T EXCUSE THEM from not doing anything, just that you should be proud of how you handled it.
Avoid the crazy person as much as possible.
Talk to your TL about not being scheduled with them.
Be polite about that and make it sound like you are concerned about the company.
Spots issues if this nutjob goes off again and you can't calm them down.
But don't expect to be told what they are going to do about her.
That's all an HR matter and they really can't
I am a TL so I can not work with this person. I did find out this person has a history of being able to do whatever they want so that explains why they act that way
 
Are you a lead as well or a TM?
The TM that came at you may have been having a bad day, but I'm all about covering your own self. You were correct in keeping your cool and in how you handled it.My personal next move would have been immediately to HR to document. If it had happened previously... immediate CA. If not, one time pass.
I am a TL and said person a team member on another person's team. My ETL is out so I did bring it to my SDs attention. I don't know if that means it will be documented, the Team members TL is friends with the Team member so they will not document.
 
Out of curiosity, what was the team members reason for confronting you like that?
I called their name over the walkie and asked what they were doing..they felt that was disrespectful because I singled then out
 
I am a TL so I can not work with this person. I did find out this person has a history of being able to do whatever they want so that explains why they act that way

Okay, that puts it in a different light.

Since you are a TL that makes sense why they didn't step in.
They assumed you were supposed to handle it.
Wrongly, but it makes more sense.

Can't you as a TL file a report on them?
You can't guarantee that it will go anywhere but at least you will have made a legit effort.
Because if this person goes off on someone else and they go to corporate, Spot is going to want to know why nobody has done the paperwork to deal with this asshole.
The one thing Spot believes in above all else is doing the paperwork correctly.
This sounds like CYA is in order.
 
Since you are not his/her immediate leader , I was send a coaching email to his leader and ask him to document in workday .
Then you would cc , yourself, sd, hr, your Etl the Etl of the other team . Then you print that email and you take it home .now you cover yourself if it ever comes back and you might be on the chopping block .
Leader or not , the Etl should have stepped in and not just observe even tho you were being cool level , and apologizing was not what I would have done and instead I would have ask the witness Etl and the said tm to step offstage into hr office and have the conversation there .
 
Hmm, makes me wonder if the TM who yelled at me a week or so before her last day at my store transferred to your store. I know she moved out of state and transferred to another Target, but no idea where. I'm so glad she's gone because we worked on different teams but in adjacent areas and she made my life at Target so much more difficult than necessary.
Sorry you're having to deal with a TM who goes into orbit over what sounds like nothing. I hear queries like yours over the walkie pretty regularly and it never seems like a big deal.
 
I am a TL and said person a team member on another person's team. My ETL is out so I did bring it to my SDs attention. I don't know if that means it will be documented, the Team members TL is friends with the Team member so they will not document.
Since you are not his/her immediate leader , I was send a coaching email to his leader and ask him to document in workday .
Then you would cc , yourself, sd, hr, your Etl the Etl of the other team . Then you print that email and you take it home .now you cover yourself if it ever comes back and you might be on the chopping block .
Leader or not , the Etl should have stepped in and not just observe even tho you were being cool level , and apologizing was not what I would have done and instead I would have ask the witness Etl and the said tm to step offstage into hr office and have the conversation there .
Hopefully your SD will do something. If I was your SD and a TL wouldn’t write up a TM because they were friends, I’d be writing up a TL and moving a TM.

I really like allnew2’s plan. CYA, always.

In my opinion, the TM should be written up for insubordination. That’s what would have happened at my store. The TL who sat there and watched a member of their own team being insubordinate to another TL instead of intervening is beneath contempt. Since the other TL failed to act, the ETL should have intervened, then gone to HR to get permission for a write up. No business can run properly with subordinates yelling at or threatening leadership, (or with leaders yelling at or threatening subordinates), and that “rushing at” you could be considered threatening depending on how it was done. Letting this TM get away with that type of behavior only invites more of it, from her and from others who will be thinking, “Well, TM So and So got away with it, so why can’t I ?” Bad for efficiency, bad for morale, and just wrong for this type of behavior to go uncorrected. Since the TM has a reputation for doing whatever she wants, it wouldn’t surprise me if the TL and ETL didn’t intervene because they are afraid of her.

Sorry that happened to you, hope this situation gets sorted out properly. Good luck!
 
Since you are not his/her immediate leader , I was send a coaching email to his leader and ask him to document in workday .
Then you would cc , yourself, sd, hr, your Etl the Etl of the other team . Then you print that email and you take it home .now you cover yourself if it ever comes back and you might be on the chopping block .
Leader or not , the Etl should have stepped in and not just observe even tho you were being cool level , and apologizing was not what I would have done and instead I would have ask the witness Etl and the said tm to step offstage into hr office and have the conversation there .
Do this for sure
 
Since you are not his/her immediate leader , I was send a coaching email to his leader and ask him to document in workday .
Then you would cc , yourself, sd, hr, your Etl the Etl of the other team . Then you print that email and you take it home .now you cover yourself if it ever comes back and you might be on the chopping block .
Leader or not , the Etl should have stepped in and not just observe even tho you were being cool level , and apologizing was not what I would have done and instead I would have ask the witness Etl and the said tm to step offstage into hr office and have the conversation there .

Exactly this right here. ^^^

Always cover yourself and send that email as soon as possible. I wouldn't make it accusatory toward the other TL and ETL, maybe just state they were witness to the inexcusable behavior. Playing devil's advocate here, they could have just thought you had it handled and didn't need the assistance. If I were in their shoes I would have let you handle it unless it started to get out of hand.

You're a leader and even if you're not their leader you still have the responsibility and authority to question things. From what you've said, there was no reason for you to be apologizing to the TM. You will likely need to be there for the delivery if they write a CA vs. just a documentation. Ensure the ETL HR is there as well and do not apologize again. Stand your ground.
 
Sorry, that one sounds difficult. My approach, and I've only had to do this twice, is that the TM would absolutely not be allowed to just walk away after going off, but would have to wait in TMSC for myself and another leader (hopefully their leader) for a witness to the coaching. Outlining how that behavior (be specific) is unacceptable and is not compatible with a safe & professional work center. The result once was the TM being sent home, the other they were allowed to keep working. And do exactly what allnew2 said w/regard to documenting. Situations like this can come back on you through lies & manipulation if the SD or HR is not particularly bright or don't want to take your side.
 

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