Guest say the darndest (dumbest) things

*Asks the difference between 2 camera's*
I proceed to tell him the difference.
"I think I'll do a little more research."

What???
 
Leo47 said:
"must mean it's free haha!" *bangs head against wall*
Click to expand...


For a while I had a quip that I would use in response to that, "Actually we have to go to the default price of $100.00 (or $500 or $1,000, depending on the product).
Then everyone would laugh and we'd find out what it actually cost.
I stopped using it when a customer believed me and started freaking out.
It is hard to be sarcastic when there is so much dumb.
 
commiecorvus said:
For a while I had a quip that I would use in response to that, "Actually we have to go to the default price of $100.00 (or $500 or $1,000, depending on the product).
Then everyone would laugh and we'd find out what it actually cost.
Click to expand...
this is good
HLN13 said:
I couldn't give any more shits bro :p I don't blame them, Amazon is way cheaper for almost everything.
Click to expand...
we do price match them...
 
BeelzeBecky said:
Heard last night:

"it must be free" (when the bar code wouldn't scan)
"I said I don't want any red card, why can't you just give me a discount anyway?" (because free money doesn't exist)
"Do I get a discount for cash?"
"I used to have the red card and it put me into overdraft!" (no, YOU put yourself into overdraft)

Also, lately people have been handing me their CC instead of swiping. It's some kind of epidemic. The first few times I was like "what are you doing?" and they look at me like I grew a 2nd head. I'm like, uh, swipe your card and point at the card reader. They look all confused and I honestly want to smack them.

Then there's the ones who leave their cart in front of the counter at check out so that the people behind them can't unload anything.

Then there's the ones who scan each item with cartwheel before putting it on the counter. If there's someone behind them with only a few items I tell them that while they're scanning, I can check out the person behind them because their special snowflake ass is holding up business.

Ugh, I need a vacation.
Click to expand...

Sorry, this is a bit of a late post, just reading through, but that last part about overdrafting resonates so deeply with my soul that I cannot describe it.

I had a lady decline it simply because it takes 3-4 days to show up on your statement. I almost, I ALMOST, told her to start a check registry so that wouldn't happen. I started to say it, and it was about to come off super perky because I was kind of annoyed at this point, I regretted trying to push this sale, and she just kept coming at me with "redcard" "overdraft" "i got bills to pay I can't wait that long" and all I was retaining was LAZY, LAZY, LAZY. JUST KEEP A REGISTRY HANDY!!! My dad's done it successfully, and I need to as well. I actually have one handy in my bedroom, I just never think to carry it because for the most part I remember what I buy lol.

But anyways, I almost told her to start a registry and it was about to come off super perky and stuff, so I stopped and she's like "im sorry I didn't hear what you said?" and I said "Oh sorry, I started talking to myself, it tends to happen randomly." and we both laughed. I secretly wanted to die.
 
Guest: "I just spoke to the guy, who told me you'd save me 2 pairs of eclipse glasses back in pharmacy."

Me: "and you're sure you called the pharmacy"

Guest: "im not stupid! He answered the phone 'Target pharmacy, can I help you?' So yeah, I'm sure!"

Me: "well, we haven't been Target Pharmacy since December 2015, and SHE and I are the only ones working, so there's no way you called and were told that."

Guest: "well.....ummmm.....okay....."

*walks away red-faced*
 
PharmaQueen said:
Guest: "I just spoke to the guy, who told me you'd save me 2 pairs of eclipse glasses back in pharmacy."

Me: "and you're sure you called the pharmacy"

Guest: "im not stupid! He answered the phone 'Target pharmacy, can I help you?' So yeah, I'm sure!"

Me: "well, we haven't been Target Pharmacy since December 2015, and SHE and I are the only ones working, so there's no way you called and were told that."

Guest: "well.....ummmm.....okay....."

*walks away red-faced*
Click to expand...

Can't fix stupid
 
commiecorvus said:
For a while I had a quip that I would use in response to that, "Actually we have to go to the default price of $100.00 (or $500 or $1,000, depending on the product).
Then everyone would laugh and we'd find out what it actually cost.
I stopped using it when a customer believed me and started freaking out.
It is hard to be sarcastic when there is so much dumb.
Click to expand...

I said this last night. I don't know who thought it was funnier - me or the guest? Sometimes, you have to amuse yourself. I was in quite a mood after returning so much crap at GS all afternoon - used stuff, no receipts. We had a borrowed LOD who wanted to make it right for every scammer, I mean guest, so I was sore from bending over all night .... ridiculous.
 
i heard this the other day while pushing candy

mom picking a pack of gum for her son: dont share this with your friends, ok! this is for you
son: dont worry i wont share anything, i dont have any friends they all disappoint me
 
*Pallet of 0.9 cu.ft. microwaves and one misplaced 0.7 cu.ft. on top*
Guest: Online it says these [thinking of the 0.7] cost $money but this sign [sign is for 0.9] says it cost $money.
Me: scans the 0.7 This is the one on sale.
Guest: Oh great. Do you think this can microwave a popcorn bag too? The 0.7?
Me:
giphy.gif
yes...
 
Guest thoughts at SCO(with new software)

"Maybe if I press the screen repeatedly maybe it'll do something..."
plz look at the screen and read how to start a transaction

"Maybe if I set the produce down on the scale it should automatically know what vegetable it is without me entering it in..."
You thought wrong

"Wow, the card reader should NOT be taking this long to read my card... what's wrong, mr. target man? Trying to fuck me over?"
Maybe try pressing pay first, usually solves that issue

"I wanted to PAY with this giftcard, but it only added the value of the giftcard to the receipt?! Trying to fuck me over?"
plz look at the screen, locate the PAY button, locate the GIFTCARD button

"You get paid to do this?"
WATCHU TALKING ABOUT THIS IS A HARD JOB

"I wanna challenge a price, but I expect the cashier to immediately fix it, I don't want ANYONE going back to price check or a manager's opinion!"
sorry that's not how it works

"I fucked up the machine, but it's your fault"
so sorry man

I kinda forgot other nitpicks I noticed through out the day, besides guests just being plain dicks to me for no reason, but that's just not as hilarious. I just love how like a good majority of these issues guests have that absolutely make or break their day at Target would be solved by looking at the screen and critical thinking skills... is it critical thinking skills?
 
Amanda Cantwell said:
As of a few days ago if you tap the screen it will say "scan an item to begin" which has been very helpful
Click to expand...

omg haha!! I realized that too, that's hilarious. This really nice older gentlemen came in and he had no idea how to work the things so I showed him and I was all "I think it yells at you if you tap it now" and I tapped it and sure enough, the computer says "please scan an item to begin!"

I also think it's really funny how every time it prints a receipt the software has to remind the guest to grab it, and it's not very quiet about it.
 
People used to forget all the time. It should also say take your coupons since no one ever sees them at my store.
 

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