Archived Guests Say the Darndest Things...

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I'm at the fitting room with the operator. Asking if she needed me to bring her a Z-Rack. This elderly woman catches our eyes. She almost enters the men's fitting room. But we steer her away.
Operator: ma'am! The women's side is on the other side!
Guest: Oh!! Thank you. *laughs* You prevented me from getting raped!
Operator and me stare at each other shocked.
 
luna831 said:
Well you are suppose to vibe with the guest
Guest were is restroom I have diarrhea for target pizza Hut then woman breaks pharmacy toilet.
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I got this.
Translated:
Guest: "Where is the restroom? I have diarrhea from eating Target's Pizza Hut pizza."
Then the woman ruined the pharmacy toilet.
Caveat: You can't blame food poisoning on eating at the store unless you were there for 6 hours; that's how long it takes your body to react to contaminated food.
 
I witnessed this exchange between a team member and a guest.
*store lights turn off and a guest is still in the store and looks like he has no intention of leaving*
TM: "Sir, it's past 10:00. We're closed."
G: "The sign said you're open until 11:00 tonight."
TM: "We're open until 11:00 Mondays through Saturdays and 10:00 on Sundays. Today is Sunday."
G: "No, today is Saturday." *huffs off to finally take his family to the front end*
 
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We have a lot of different ethnicities come into our store. A few people I can understand what they want, some pull out their phones and translate or show a picture, but the worst are the ones that get irate when they don't do either and just repeat the same thing over and over.

One dude comes in for "chicken burgers." At first I thought he was talking about ground chicken patties (which we didn't sell at the time) but I showed him the ground chicken meat and he was getting pissed, just repeating "chicken BURGER" "chicken BURGER." Turns out he wanted breaded chicken patties.

He came in last week; a coworker and I were zoning chemicals and I overhear "chicken burger" in the next aisle. I just laugh and stay where I was until the coworker comes and asks me. I flat out said "We don't have chicken BURGERS. Do you mean chicken PATTIES?" "No, BURGER! BURGER!" I was just to irate to help I went to back my aisle.
 
"I'm not saying I'm a fan of sexual molestation but let's get the stats right."
 
Mother to her child that was running around while at the service desk: Hey! You behave or I'm going to return YOU to the store.

Me: We have a life-time return policy for naughty children, actually.

Mom: See that? Now behave or I'll give you to the lady.
 
This was from tonight while zoning the frozen fruit. Guy comes up to me with a girl. Guy starts talking to me while girl is shopping the aisle and messing up my zone:

"Do you know anything about the bags you are zoning?'
"Huh?"
"The fruit. You look like you eat healthy and work out."
"Um, well thanks. Uh sometimes I buy the fruit to put in smoothies."
"You have a nice body."
"Well, actually I eat shit and don't work out."
"Really? Some people are just built that way I guess."
"Um... yeah" *zoning and looking toward the freezer and avoiding eye contact while sensing that the guy is probably staring at my butt*
"I just moved here."
Guy then says something about jobs and school and girl jumps in and I try to make awkward small talk while thinking PLEASE GO AWAY PLEASE GO AWAY.
Finally they say something about they run a business and the guy would like to exchange numbers and I give them my textfree number and my real first name (couldn't give a fake one, thanks stupid nametag) and a fake last name. I really am curious what they wanted otherwise I would have told them my number is 867-5309. It was just odd; I don't know if I was getting hit on or trying to be scammed somehow or what.
 
daninnj said:
This was from tonight while zoning the frozen fruit. Guy comes up to me with a girl. Guy starts talking to me while girl is shopping the aisle and messing up my zone:

"Do you know anything about the bags you are zoning?'
"Huh?"
"The fruit. You look like you eat healthy and work out."
"Um, well thanks. Uh sometimes I buy the fruit to put in smoothies."
"You have a nice body."
"Well, actually I eat shit and don't work out."
"Really? Some people are just built that way I guess."
"Um... yeah" *zoning and looking toward the freezer and avoiding eye contact while sensing that the guy is probably staring at my butt*
"I just moved here."
Guy then says something about jobs and school and girl jumps in and I try to make awkward small talk while thinking PLEASE GO AWAY PLEASE GO AWAY.
Finally they say something about they run a business and the guy would like to exchange numbers and I give them my textfree number and my real first name (couldn't give a fake one, thanks stupid nametag) and a fake last name. I really am curious what they wanted otherwise I would have told them my number is 867-5309. It was just odd; I don't know if I was getting hit on or trying to be scammed somehow or what.
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They wanted to make a dani sandwich.
 
Yeah, I've been hit on a couple times by a very flamboyant guy that comes in occasionally. I've considered getting a fake wedding ring and putting it on when I see him, as mentioning my (admittedly fake) girlfriend hasn't deterred him. 😵
 
TTOG

I had an asian mother and father come in one night, wanting to return a kids tricycle. The problem was that the box was missing all the screws for it's assembly. The father tells me in broken english, with a heavy accent after showing me the problem "It made in china!" We all had a good laugh.
 
TallAPGuy said:
Yeah, I've been hit on a couple times by a very flamboyant guy that comes in occasionally. I've considered getting a fake wedding ring and putting it on when I see him, as mentioning my (admittedly fake) girlfriend hasn't deterred him. 😵
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A few months ago, some dude kept would conveniently be in the section I was pushing/zoning and whenever I moved, he moved and would act like he was looking at the product. When I was in the milk, he was 10 feet away from me "looking" at the milk. When I moved to the frozen chicken, he was 10 feet away looking at the frozen chicken. This went on for 10 minutes until I started moving haphazardly around.

I'm shy but I know there's a different between getting attention and having someone creeped out.
 
Guy standing RIGHT in front of the reading glasses: Do you carry reading glasses?
Me: Yes, they're right behind you
Guy: Well, I'll be damned.....(looks at them for a while)
Guy: Do you have any that can help me read Spanish?
Me: Ummm......I don't think they make those
Guy: Damn. I'm going to Mexico and don't know how I'm going to read anything down there!
Me: Well, if you're going to a touristy area, most signs will probably be printed in both English and Spanish
Guy: I hope so, I don't want to end up in one of those horse and pony shows, if you know what I mean
Me: Ummmm.....I hope not.....have a nice trip!
Guy: Thanks! If I don't come back, I probably got killed by the drug cartel.
Me: Well, make sure you come by and see us when you get back
Guy: Will do!

That was 3 weeks ago.....Haven't seen him since 😵
 
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