I do various things. It just depends on what kind of mood I'm in.
I talk in what sounds like a mixture of Klingon and pig-Latin on my phone as loudly as possible, especially when I'm in a crowded checkout line. I spend hours trying on clothes, and instead of bringing the ones I won't buy to the counter, I just kind of spread them out all over the store. I fondle mannequins. I jog through the store while pushing my cart and making loud "Brrrmmmmmm!" racecar sounds and dodging other customers. I leer at team members (both men and women) in the creepiest way possible, and if confronted, I'll ask them to run away to Tibet with me. If another customer leaves their cart unattended, I'll steal that sucker, fill it with diapers and frozen pot pies, and leave it at Starbucks. I "graze" in the produce section. I pretend like I'm shoplifting (act nervous, constantly pick things up and put them down, quickly walk away if a TM gets anywhere near me). If a TM asks if they can help me find something, I'll reply in the worst German accent I can muster; "Yes, where are the vibrators? And duck tape. I require duck tape, fräulein!" I pick out the biggest, weirdest looking doll from the toy section and mutter unintelligibly to it while shopping. Sometimes I'll order a cup of coffee at Starbucks and yell "OhEmGeeee! THIS IS SO RIDICULOUSLY HOT!!", then act like I'm hyperventilating. I track mud all over the floor, but only if there isn't any mud outside. I like to sing "Do You Want To Build a Snowman?" while doing this weird shuffle-walk-dance thing in the women's underwear section.
So yeah.... I've seen guests do these exact things, so why not. Usually I'm just a typical polite shopper though.
