Tl has no boundaries. Want them to stop, don’t want them to get in trouble. Advice?

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Apr 19, 2022
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I have a TL who is very touchy feely. In the past month, they have done the following all on a near daily basis:

Swinging their arm around my shoulder, getting very close to my face. Grabbing my upper arm and wrists in nearly every interaction, shaking me by the shoulders, leaning on me and over me when I’m crouching down, biting me multiple times on my neck, raising her hands threatening to hit me, ACTUALLY hitting me, on the back, chest, shoulder, and backside. They have done this in front of customers and co-workers. It’s gotten to the point where I almost have anxiety attacks because of it. They’ve talked (jokingly) about how they’ve bitten other coworkers before ( and how it led to said coworkers quitting). I took this as a joke at first but now as the behavior escalates, I’m seeing it’s anything but. Asking politely does not work, they do not have boundaries.



I hold no ill will against this TL. I like working with them when they aren’t harassing me, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared to bring it to my ETL because I don’t want to face retaliation, or get them in trouble. I just want them to stop. I’ve been thinking of even asking for a transfer because I don’t want to cause any trouble by reporting it. I’ve never had someone treat me like this at work and I don’t know how to navigate it. There’s so much uncertainty. Any info/advice is very appreciated.
 
I’ve actually told this person to back off multiple times. Verbally, and non verbally. I will say “no” put my hands up, say “personal space please”, remove their arm (but they typically just go back to doing it in less than a second.) and when I walk back from them they get super close and in my personal space so I can’t avoid them. I’ve said “it makes me uncomfortable”, “please stop”, tried to distract them by suggesting we work instead, and it barely even keeps them away. They just do what they want when they want, regardless of what I say. My demeanor and body language is basically screaming “NO” even When I’m not verbally communicating it. I don’t want to be forward because I don’t want any conflict. As other users suggested though, I will be taking this to my ETL and seeing if maybe we don’t have to work the same schedule, or I can be transferred to a different department until she learns some manners.

Edit: a word
Go to hr, not your etl. This is serious. Your etl won’t be as trained in the seriousness of this, won’t have the experience in dealing with this. And will probably screw it up. Go to HR!
 
You should keep a log. When it happens say to other TM did you see that? Keep a log. I suggest you go to the hotline and they will help you write a recap and it is submitted to corporate HR and they send to your HR. Unfortunately these situations are not resolved as easily as you think. Again, let other members know it is happening and submit your claim to the hotline. I have experience with this and it is a he said, she said situation. Cameras are not as good as you think, fuzzy at best. You don’t deserve this treatment, pls don’t put up with it.
 
I am sorry you are dealing with this. I've seen people play hit people, shove people, TLs and ETLs even, but don't do it anymore when asked to stop. Biting though? That's not OK and is a major health issue. I'd talk to HR. If you don't see the ETL for HR, tell your HRTM that you need to speak with them and they typically will make sure they are available for your shift. If you can not get ahold of them and the SD is not an option, get ahold of the HRBP, you should be able to find that information on Workday, or Workbench.
 
Any update, @reeeeeeee1345 ?
Your TL's behavior is in absolutely no way at all acceptable and I hope it's stopped completely.
When someone has no boundaries, it's up to us to set them - which you did and which the TL still crosses. I appreciate that you don't want to cause trouble. But it's not YOU causing the trouble, it's your TL and their lack of respect for you. It sounds like you think you're asking too much for your TL to keep their hands (and teeth - gross, just a great big "ew") off your body. No. Just no. Your TL doesn't need to touch you at all, ever, in any place, for them to supervise you and for you to do your job effectively.
 
Any update, @reeeeeeee1345 ?
Your TL's behavior is in absolutely no way at all acceptable and I hope it's stopped completely.
When someone has no boundaries, it's up to us to set them - which you did and which the TL still crosses. I appreciate that you don't want to cause trouble. But it's not YOU causing the trouble, it's your TL and their lack of respect for you. It sounds like you think you're asking too much for your TL to keep their hands (and teeth - gross, just a great big "ew") off your body. No. Just no. Your TL doesn't need to touch you at all, ever, in any place, for them to supervise you and for you to do your job effectively.
100%. I can't even tell you how much I would raise holy hell if anyone at my store dared to actually bite me. Ewwwww indeed. Most of the time I don't get close enough to people to even allow them to put hands on me, let alone teeth. If I do get that close it's only in passing and only when unavoidable.
 
I'll leave it to someone more eloquent
Excuse me sir or Madam. If you would be so kind as to stop touching me. It would be greatly appreciated. Sexual harassment lawsuits are ever so expensive. Should you decide to even lift but a finger towards me again. The consequences will be most DIRE. I would hate to have to hit you over the head with my zebra, gut you like a fish with my box cutter, and then strangle you to death with your own intestines. But further unwanted contact will force me to take drastic measures.

The mess it would create would be most dreadful. And your screams would surely disrupt our valued guests shopping experiences. I shall henceforth give ONE and only ONE warning. If you EVER DARE lay a hand on me again. I will make you experience levels of agony and despair so gut wrenchingly painful that you'll WISH a complaint to HR is all you had to deal with.

The suffering you will know will be endless. And it will be extended not only to you but your entire family. A curse will be placed on you and everyone you've ever loved. You'll be forced to relive the traumatic memories you gave each and every one of your victims when you took advantage of them. Those memories will haunt you in your sleep. You'll lie awake at night restless unable to fend off the nightmares.

Or you could remove your hand. And we could go back to work and act like adults who have some professionalism. So Good Day to you sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.

That's about as eloquent as I could think to put it.
 
Excuse me sir or Madam. If you would be so kind as to stop touching me. It would be greatly appreciated. Sexual harassment lawsuits are ever so expensive. Should you decide to even lift but a finger towards me again. The consequences will be most DIRE. I would hate to have to hit you over the head with my zebra, gut you like a fish with my box cutter, and then strangle you to death with your own intestines. But further unwanted contact will force me to take drastic measures.

The mess it would create would be most dreadful. And your screams would surely disrupt our valued guests shopping experiences. I shall henceforth give ONE and only ONE warning. If you EVER DARE lay a hand on me again. I will make you experience levels of agony and despair so gut wrenchingly painful that you'll WISH a complaint to HR is all you had to deal with.

The suffering you will know will be endless. And it will be extended not only to you but your entire family. A curse will be placed on you and everyone you've ever loved. You'll be forced to relive the traumatic memories you gave each and every one of your victims when you took advantage of them. Those memories will haunt you in your sleep. You'll lie awake at night restless unable to fend off the nightmares.

Or you could remove your hand. And we could go back to work and act like adults who have some professionalism. So Good Day to you sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.

That's about as eloquent as I could think to put it.
HR will solve it.
 
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