*deep breath*
TTOG: Sir, kind sir, our hours are posted. No, we will not open early. Not even for you. Not even for you to go in and get one thing. Because there's noone there to check you out. Actually, if I rubbed my brain cells together and made that spark in order to check you out, it would signal Capitan America and he would come and throat punch you into next week.
Actually, no, the guy with the keys isn't opening the door for you. He's opening it for me so I can go in and do everything I need to do in order to be guest-ready when the store opens.
Do not push past me to try to get inside. My LOD is twice your size.
We will be open in 30 minutes, just like he said. See you then I hope!
Edit: he didn't come back.
And you, ma'am. I don't give a flying fuck HOW BAD your grand-spawn wants that baseball card. It doesn't give me, or anyone else, the authority to go and dig through excel boxes to find something that isn't even pulling up as sold at this store. No, I'm not a lying, lazy, ignorant, little snot.
LET. GO. OF. MY. ELBOW.
Jfc did you really just tell me they switched your meds, so you're really sorry for acting irrationally? No, I don't understand what you mean. Switching gears and being sickeningly sweet and saying please and thank you (before I even get the chance to repeat myself) isn't going to change anything. Get your spoiled grand kid (whom couldn't even tell me how long the booster pack had been out), and go terrorize some other retail employee.
And finally ... you sir. You smell like entitlement, and cheap coffee. Back up. Why are you so upset?
... because I don't have enough cashiers, and you are in a HUGE hurry and shouldn't have to wait in line behind someone else? Instead of walk around and pretend to be important, I need to open a lane for you so you can leave before the second coming of Christ?
Boy I would, but look at that... lane 14 just emptied up, no wait time. Have a good day sir!