Archived Guests Say the Darndest Things...

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As I'm stocking in the toilet paper aisle, a guest comes along and starts looking at the different packages.

Me: "Can I help you find anything?"
Guest: "Oh no, I'm just looking to see what you guys are putting out this season."
Me: ...............
 
at checkout an older hillbilly woman with no teeth is making a huge deal about the beggin strips for her dog, she gets a $5 gift card for buying them and goes on and on about how great they are wow i got a gift card i can get more, her dogs love them, she will get more be right back, comes back with more beggin strips, she now has 6 huge bags of these things , uses the gift card, and again goes on and on about how her dogs love the beggin strips i got all these bags and a giftcard while the guest behind her is looking at her like wtf.
 
So we have this regular guest...he's a seriously grumpy old man with an Eastern European accent. Every time he comes through my lane and I hand him his receipt, he tears off the bottom (the part with the survey) and throws it on the register and says "Here's a souvenir" and walks away. EVERY. TIME. Eventually, he came through my line so often, one time I just went ahead and tore off the bottom of the receipt and then handed it to him and he was PISSED. Started mumbling what I'm sure were curse words in another language. Ok dude. Whatever.

I'm not on a register all that often any more so I don't have to deal with him...but the other day I jumped on a checklane for guest first and HEY! It's my grumpy friend! He had four items on the belt. Bananas, small package of ground meat, cilantro and something else, I forget the last item. Anyway, I ring up the bananas and I reach over the ground meat to grab the cilantro...to bag them together...because...produce. Putting them in the same bag just makes sense. And he says "NO! This next!" and points to the meat "This is after!" and points to the cilantro and then puts his arm down on the belt like a makeshift separator. So I said "Oh, okay no problem! These are a separate order?" "NO! All together but in THIS ORDER!" As if I am just the stupidest person ever. Oooookayyyyy. God forbid I ring the stuff up in the "wrong" order...it's not like the receipt groups items together regardless of the way I ring it up or anything.

So his bananas got bagged with the meat and the cilantro with that other item. Thanks man, you keep on being miserable...a few team members and I had a good laugh at your expense that day.
 
Yesterday a guest complained to me because an item she wanted was on the top shelf. She argued that because it was a new item, it should be easier to reach. She wanted to speak to a manager and everything. It probably doesn't help that she was 4.5 feet tall.
 
Okay, this was when I first started working at Target (Late 2011 - early 2012):

There was this mentally impaired man who would come into the store almost every day wearing red and khakis. He didn't just claim to work for Spot, he would claim that he was the DM for our store.

Not only that, when I would work at the lanes, he would stand next to me for, at least, 15 minutes. He never said anything, he just stood there. After about 15 minutes, he would just leave the store. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only person he would actually do this to.

The only time he actually said something to me, was when he looked me in the eyes and said "I want to take you away into the night". Then, as usual, he left the store.

I told an LOD about this and the guy hasn't been back for about 3 years.
 
Starry said:
Okay, this was when I first started working at Target (Late 2011 - early 2012):

There was this mentally impaired man who would come into the store almost every day wearing red and khakis. He didn't just claim to work for Spot, he would claim that he was the DM for our store.

Not only that, when I would work at the lanes, he would stand next to me for, at least, 15 minutes. He never said anything, he just stood there. After about 15 minutes, he would just leave the store. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only person he would actually do this to.

The only time he actually said something to me, was when he looked me in the eyes and said "I want to take you away into the night". Then, as usual, he left the store.

I told an LOD about this and the guy hasn't been back for about 3 years.
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Well, except for the whole "I want to take you away into the night" thing, he sounds like the best DM you ever had.
 
Starry said:
Okay, this was when I first started working at Target (Late 2011 - early 2012):

There was this mentally impaired man who would come into the store almost every day wearing red and khakis. He didn't just claim to work for Spot, he would claim that he was the DM for our store.

Not only that, when I would work at the lanes, he would stand next to me for, at least, 15 minutes. He never said anything, he just stood there. After about 15 minutes, he would just leave the store. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only person he would actually do this to.

The only time he actually said something to me, was when he looked me in the eyes and said "I want to take you away into the night". Then, as usual, he left the store.

I told an LOD about this and the guy hasn't been back for about 3 years.
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We had a similar situation with a mentally handicapped guy that used to hang out at our store. He would come in and talk to just about every team member warning them about a murder that happened at a nearby store and then start crying (this murder didn't actually happen...in recent history at least) He was very very talkative and impossible to avoid. He tracked down our ETL-HR and started talking to her about getting a job and he had wet his pants. It was really sad and I'm not sure why he was left unattended anyway. We finally got him to call his mom and the LOD talked to her about his behavior and he hasn't been back since.
 
Yeah, I had a creepy old guy ask me how far I could bend over. And if I could touch the floor with my palms. Hung up real quick on that guy and told the operator to ignore any and all calls from that number.
 
Two of my favorite stories...

#1... I'm cashiering, and this lady buys one pair of pants. I ask her if she needs a bag. (I really don't think anyone needs a bag if they're just buying one or two things, but if it's clothes it's more understandable if they don't want it to get dirty or something)... This lady looks at me like I have 3 heads and says "Of course I need a bag! What? You think I'm going to walk out in *public* with these?!"
uhhh... well first, "public" is the Target parking lot... and second, are you not going to WEAR them in public?!?!


and #2 This was back a few years ago when all the stores in my area were remodeling to include PFresh. When one store would finish their remodel, they would send out coupons...on the coupon booklet it said "To be used at your (newly remodeled local store that's closest to your house) store!" - but they were regular "target" coupons in the booklet, so we would still take them at my store. There happened to be a coupon for a fee dozen eggs... This was before I was 18, so I had to leave by 9:45 (darn.) I took my break at 845 and between when I came back at 9 and left at 945, I kid you not, I had this exact conversation with THREE different guests:

Guest: I can't find these eggs in the (small, not-yet-remodeled) grocery section.
Me: Yeah, I'm sorry, We're out of those eggs
Guest: But this coupon expires tonight...
Me: I'm sorry, you can try to make it to another Target by 10, but there' s no guarantees that they will be in stock there either. That coupon came in a booklet that is technically supposed to be used at the newly remodeled store X, but since it is a regular Target coupon, we can take it, but we're out of stock. I can't do anything else for you.
Guest: Could I get a rain check or a different pack of eggs or something?
Me: Let me see the coupon....*reads* No rain checks, no substitutions, product may not be available at all stores
Guest: Yeah, but could I get a rain check or a different pack of eggs or something? This coupon expires tonight!
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that. The coupon says so.
Guest: *huffy* Let me talk to a manager

so I get my GSTL over to guest service.
They have the EXACT same conversation.
Guest *huffy* Is there a higher manager I can talk to?
We get the LOD to guest service to talk to the guest.
They have the EXACT SAME CONVERSATION.
Guest: *huffy* But this coupon expires tonight.
LOD: I can give you corporate's number, but I can't do anything else for you.
Guest: Fine, okay. *Takes corporate's number and storms off*

Seriously. Three times. In 45 minutes. About eggs that are like $1.50 tops. That went all the way from me reading them the coupon to them taking corporate's number.


....then the next morning, we found a pallet of those eggs in the backroom freezer that for some reason we couldn't find that night. Whoops!
 
daninnj said:
I always get young men coming in and asking for kitchen scales... I always want to ask what kind of cake they're baking. 🙄

The last one asked me where the kitchen scales and vacuum seal bags were... fancy fancy.
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Doin' a little 'apothecary'? lol
 
"Can you scan this? It doesnt have a tag". Sure...oh wait theres the clearance tag! "Uhh...yeah but i need you to scan it." Well theres a price scanner right behind you. I dont have anything to scan it. "Umm it said the same price but theyre always wrong". At this point I couldnt even be nice anymore with someone whos that ridiculous. If the sticker says it and it rings up that way it is that price. "Umm ive had it happen before". Thats nice. Bye!!!
 
mdent782 said:
"Can you scan this? It doesnt have a tag". Sure...oh wait theres the clearance tag! "Uhh...yeah but i need you to scan it." Well theres a price scanner right behind you. I dont have anything to scan it. "Umm it said the same price but theyre always wrong". At this point I couldnt even be nice anymore with someone whos that ridiculous. If the sticker says it and it rings up that way it is that price. "Umm ive had it happen before". Thats nice. Bye!!!
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She had that happen after she switched the $5 clearance tag to a $200 dyson and wondered why we wouldn't change it for her...
 
The one thing I hate most in the world is when a guest comes in looking for something we don't sell in the store and the first words out of their mouth are "But I saw it online!"
tumblr_msw281R8U71rpchvpo1_400.gif
 
Guest: *puts a case of beer and a bottle of wine on the belt*
Me: *turns on help light* Sorry sir, I just have to get someone older to scan this. I'm too young.
Guest: *points to cashier a few lanes behind me* What about her? Can she scan it?
Me: Oh no, she's a minor too.
Guest: She is? Damn, her looks had me fooled. It'll be our little secret though, guy.
 
Guest comes in with an empty box of "wal-phed" (Walgreen's brand Sudafed)
G: I need a box of this
Me: okay, I will need you drivers license *grab a box of ours*
G: no, I need THIS
M: this is our brand of that
G: what do you mean "your brand?"
M: that is the Walgreen's generic Sudafed
G: you mean you don't carry this product?
M: this is the same medication, it's just our generic Sudafed. They're both pseudoephedrine.
G: so you don't have this, what's it called? Wal-phed?
M: no, that's what Walgreen's calls their generic Sudafed
G: well, why don't you carry it?
M: because it's a Walgreen's branded product. Our generics are "up & up" brand. WalMart's are Great Value. Each store has their own unique brand, but it's all the same active ingredient
G: so I have to go to Walgreen's?
M: this is the same medication, it just has a different name
G: will it work the same?
M: it should
G: well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?
 
Not a guest but we have cereal in the breakroom every Sunday. It was Monday night. The brand attendant comes in, starts doing his cleaning around the room, looks at the 10 boxes of cereal on the shelf, shakes his head and says to himself "Sunday was like nine days ago."

Uh...
 
tgtcpht said:
Guest comes in with an empty box of "wal-phed" (Walgreen's brand Sudafed)
G: I need a box of this
Me: okay, I will need you drivers license *grab a box of ours*
G: no, I need THIS
M: this is our brand of that
G: what do you mean "your brand?"
M: that is the Walgreen's generic Sudafed
G: you mean you don't carry this product?
M: this is the same medication, it's just our generic Sudafed. They're both pseudoephedrine.
G: so you don't have this, what's it called? Wal-phed?
M: no, that's what Walgreen's calls their generic Sudafed
G: well, why don't you carry it?
M: because it's a Walgreen's branded product. Our generics are "up & up" brand. WalMart's are Great Value. Each store has their own unique brand, but it's all the same active ingredient
G: so I have to go to Walgreen's?
M: this is the same medication, it just has a different name
G: will it work the same?
M: it should
G: well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?
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Hahahahaha! What an idiot. I would have a hard time not losing my composure dealing with that level of stupid.
 
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