Archived Is this over-reaction?

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dutifulTM

Cashier
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A few days ago I had some guest, after I made some comment, suddenly GLOMP me out of the blue, squeezing me tight and not letting me go for a couple minutes or so while going on about how adorable I am and such things.

I was creeped out by it - I mean, I know she didn't mean anything bad but... who DOES that? Who just puts their hands on a stranger in what could be considered an intimate way (because come on? aren't hugs considered such? or at least between friend/families only?) and thinks it's okay?

Not to mention for a while afterwards, my chest hurt when breathing. :/

Just fed up with everyone being like, "OH WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET?" or "SHE'S JUST A LONELY WOMAN" or "MAN YOU NEED TO WORK IN RETAIL LONGER" etc etc like IT IS OKAY FOR A STRANGER to put their hands on/hug you.

So, what.

I bet if it was a GUY doing it, it would suddenly not be okay.
Or if she was threatening to/had hit me, it wouldn't be okay.

But because she HUGGED me, it's okay?

But wait, maybe I'm just overreacting. :disappoint:


eta: and I meant to post this in guests first... darn it.
 
dutifulTM said:
A few days ago I had some guest, after I made some comment, suddenly GLOMP me out of the blue, squeezing me tight and not letting me go for a couple minutes or so while going on about how adorable I am and such things.

I was creeped out by it - I mean, I know she didn't mean anything bad but... who DOES that? Who just puts their hands on a stranger in what could be considered an intimate way (because come on? aren't hugs considered such? or at least between friend/families only?) and thinks it's okay?

Not to mention for a while afterwards, my chest hurt when breathing. :/

Just fed up with everyone being like, "OH WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET?" or "SHE'S JUST A LONELY WOMAN" or "MAN YOU NEED TO WORK IN RETAIL LONGER" etc etc like IT IS OKAY FOR A STRANGER to put their hands on/hug you.

So, what.

I bet if it was a GUY doing it, it would suddenly not be okay.
Or if she was threatening to/had hit me, it wouldn't be okay.

But because she HUGGED me, it's okay?

But wait, maybe I'm just overreacting. :disappoint:


eta: and I meant to post this in guests first... darn it.
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personal space is personal space. But it's kind of a hazard of the job. Just like you get guests threatening to kill you or saying that the reason people go on shoot sprees is because you wont return their item (both of those have happened to me personally) you also get lonely women or elderly ladies that like to pat you on the back, massage your back, or hug you.

It never gets any less invasive or creepy but I stopped complaining because it's an issue most of us deal with in retail...
 
GlobalTargetTM said:
personal space is personal space. But it's kind of a hazard of the job. Just like you get guests threatening to kill you or saying that the reason people go on shoot sprees is because you wont return their item (both of those have happened to me personally) ...
Click to expand...

Thats funny. A guest told me he would " come over the counter and beat me down" once when I was GSTL because I wouldnt return his used shoes. AP-TL had to actually detain him till the cops came.
 
One person's affection can be another's invasion of personal space.
A guest came through with an autistic child who was getting agitated. Another guest gave him a hug, thinking she could 'calm him down' until he popped her in the arm. :facepalm:
 
Ef all that. Why is it acceptable to take so much crap from these people? If I walked around screaming at the top of my lungs for an hour people would tell me to shut up or to get out of there, or some such. But, when it's some dead-eyed 25 year olds little brood of failure, wailing because it can't believe it's parents are this effing clueless, I can only sit there and say nothing. Maybe smile politely while they run over my foot with their cart. Hitting or hugging it is unwanted contact, and should all be referred to as assault.
/end rant.
inb4 u need a hug.
 
IMHO, the only appropriate way to touch someone you don't know is to shake their hand. I would freak out if some stranger came and hugged me. Stay.Out.Of.My.Bubble. But then I get antsy if someone stands too close behind me when I'm checking out at the grocery store...I may need therapy.
 
I had guests shake my hand or pat me on the back. But to be hugged is a bit creepy.

I was lucky to have only one guest who made idle threats and got aggressive with the register.
 
Yeah... I'm very very skittish when it comes to touching/being touched. Though sometimes for some reason co-workers hug me or something, though I'm more or less fine with that for the most part... at least I know them.

The sudden GLOMP!!! attack just had me sort of frozen, like wtf is this really happening? x_x

And no, she wasn't young. She was probably in late thirty/fourties.
 
dutifulTM said:
Yeah... I'm very very skittish when it comes to touching/being touched. Though sometimes for some reason co-workers hug me or something, though I'm more or less fine with that for the most part... at least I know them.

The sudden GLOMP!!! attack just had me sort of frozen, like wtf is this really happening? x_x

And no, she wasn't young. She was probably in late thirty/fourties.
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I agree -- several times guests would try to hug me or pat me on the back... while i appreciate the sentiment, it does skeeve me out,too.

Although one interaction was pretty interesting. When I was Toys TL I was setting a salesplanner with my back to the main aisle, and someone came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders... needless to say I almost clocked the guy for startling me.

Turns out it was a guy whose sons had gone to a day camp I was the director of, and he was expressing his appreciation that they both had a great time (and subsequently have come back every year... so it was a good thing I hadn't clocked him). But it still got my heart racing a bit.
 
MrGSTLman said:
I agree -- several times guests would try to hug me or pat me on the back... while i appreciate the sentiment, it does skeeve me out,too.

Although one interaction was pretty interesting. When I was Toys TL I was setting a salesplanner with my back to the main aisle, and someone came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders... needless to say I almost clocked the guy for startling me.

Turns out it was a guy whose sons had gone to a day camp I was the director of, and he was expressing his appreciation that they both had a great time (and subsequently have come back every year... so it was a good thing I hadn't clocked him). But it still got my heart racing a bit.
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NIce sentiments and all, but isn't it common sense for these people that coming up behind someone who is unaware of your presence =/= good idea?
 
dutifulTM said:
NIce sentiments and all, but isn't it common sense for these people that coming up behind someone who is unaware of your presence =/= good idea?
Click to expand...

Oh no, it isn't... and since then (thankfully) no one has ever tried it again. Although I have been poked in the back by a cane... that didn't end well. But I agree that personal space is personal space and if you don't know a person it should be hands off no matter what the situation...
 
SrTLRep said:
IMHO, the only appropriate way to touch someone you don't know is to shake their hand. I would freak out if some stranger came and hugged me. Stay.Out.Of.My.Bubble. But then I get antsy if someone stands too close behind me when I'm checking out at the grocery store...I may need therapy.
Click to expand...
Dude people do this to me all the time. I mean come on I always give people at least 3 feet. Some people get so close that I can feel their breath practically
 
Personal space is a weird thing. I grew up in an area where when you met someone, male or female, you shook hands but where I live now there is this whole kiss on the cheek thing. It took me a year to get the move down to where I wasn't bumping foreheads. I've had a few people grab me, working with the public all these years. One wanted to see my tattoo's which nearly got them decked, another was an old lady who was very drunk, just grin and bear it.
 
Definitely not ok. But there's really nothing you can do about it. Your only option is to let someone above you know about it (ETL, STL, or AP). If this is a guest who comes into the store and regularly makes team members feel uncomfortable, AP or LOD can address it.

There's nothing wrong with being skeeved out by it.
 
Touching someone without their consent is not okay. I had a team member do that to me once and I freaked out. You do not know anyone elses story. Offering your hand to shake is totally different you have warning and you have control. Physically embracing someone without their consent is just plain wrong. I would have told the person to "Stop..now" in a loud tone of voice. Again, not okay no matter if it is male female young old ugly or nice looking. Just because I work with the public does not give anyone the right to embrace me without my consent, period. Alot of you are making light of this, when it can in reality be a nightmare for someone. Not okay.
 
Jeez and to think I was creeped out by the time when I did a carryout for this senior citizen couple and after putting the item in their car the husband said to me "Mama's got something for you" I turned around hand saw he was referering to a couple dollars his wife was going to give me for a tip. I think he could have chosen better wording. :facepalm:

As if refusing tips isn't an awkward enough situation luckily I haven't had any guests vocalize that they were insulted by me not accepting a tip but I can tell that some were.
 
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