Mental Health in Leadership

[PogDog]

Lately, I've been dealing with some mental health issues related to work.

I carry a lot of stress (mostly trying to keep on top of my workload, as well as, be a primary leader at store open). I don't share my stresses with other team members/leaders (they have their own shit to worry about), nor do I have an outlet for my stress. So, I bury it down inside and move on. Occasionally, the stress gets to me and I get extremely irritable or frustrated and will snap on nearby team members (usually while they're being lazy or creating more work for other people). This has translated in to me being a difficult team lead to work for.

I think I need some help to get out of this cycle.

I know my current habits are doing me no good. I think it's affecting my health too (weight gain, irregular sleep, mood swings...).

I'm open to suggestions, but please leave them if you've had success doing them yourselves. I'm not looking for a list of how abouts, thanks.

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Take a few days off. Spot does have a phone number/website you can get help too.

We are always here to listen & support you.

Anyone here deal with mental illness?

I thought maybe we could support each other and if there is another thread about this by all means let me know! I was diagnosed recently with Bipolar II. I have dealt with severe depression and anxiety since high school. I'm having a terrible day today feeling alone and like I'm being left...

www.thebreakroom.org

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Here is the info.

 

[BurgerBob]

But you can always feel free to rant at us,

 

[NotCynicalYet]

When I take care of myself physically (sleep, breakfast, a little exercise) I deal with stress positively. When I don't take care of myself, I deal with stress negatively. Generic advice but that's the main thing for me. Good luck, I feel your pain!

 

[redeye58]

You DO need to find an outlet for your stress levels & a pandemic will reduce your options BUT, as Hardlinesmaster has suggested, talking to someone with the support services offered by Target might offer options you hadn't considered.
In the interim, we're all here & anonymous.

 

[Black Sheep 214]

Feel free to rant here any time you want and as much as you want. That’s what we’re here for and we will try to help you if we can.
Personally, I found that taking my breaks/ lunch in my car to get away from it all was a temporary stress buster and a partial recharge to get through the day. Caffeine helped, too, but that might just be me. When the stress got worse I stopped taking my vacation by the week and took two days off every couple of months between my regular days off so I was away for four days to recharge. That worked for awhile until the ETL from Hell arrived and, unfortunately, nothing helped after that, but just getting away from it for a little while may work for you.
I know that it’s very difficult to keep from snapping at a team member when they are making things more difficult for you and everyone else and I respect you for wanting to curb this. I’ve found that it’s much better in the long run to walk away and speak to them about it later when you have cooled off, and I would do it by stepping away, taking a breath and trying to remind myself that would make things worse for everyone if I said what I felt like saying in the heat of the moment. Bit my tongue a few times, too, for sure. Having the reputation of being a difficult team leader to work for just adds to your stress level, and every team is different, but except for a few truly bad apples, my experience was that if you support your team they will usually support you, which will mean less stress for everyone. Good luck, hope this helps!😁

 

[allnew2]

Last year around this time I had a lot to deal with myself between my SD and DTL beating into me how I need to make the new process work and no room for failure and the death of my brother who committed suicide I had days when I thought I would be better off if I drive my car off a cliff on my way to work. I got to the point where life just made no sense except one thing that kept me living is my child .I actually had to take some time off right before becoming an Etl because I felt like I was dying inside . I never really coped with my brothers death I got the call when I was at work left work straight to airport took me 24 hour to get there just in time for the funeral 4 days later I was back to work trying my best to do what was asked of me and not fail. Take the time off , regroup - refocus and have an outlet be it walking , talking to a family member , or friend or even professional help. There is no shame in feeling in need of help.

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Last year around this time I had a lot to deal with myself between my SD and DTL beating into me how I need to make the new process work and no room for failure and the death of my brother who committed suicide I had days when I thought I would be better off if I drive my car off a cliff on my way to work. I got to the point where life just made no sense except one thing that kept me living is my child .I actually had to take some time off right before becoming an Etl because I felt like I was dying inside . I never really coped with my brothers death I got the call when I was at work left work straight to airport took me 24 hour to get there just in time for the funeral 4 days later I was back to work trying my best to do what was asked of me and not fail. Take the time off , regroup - refocus and have an outlet be it walking , talking to a family member , or friend or even professional help. There is no shame in feeling in need of help.
@allnew2 sorry for your loss. We are here for you too.

 

[allnew2]

Last year around this time I had a lot to deal with myself between my SD and DTL beating into me how I need to make the new process work and no room for failure and the death of my brother who committed suicide I had days when I thought I would be better off if I drive my car off a cliff on my way to work. I got to the point where life just made no sense except one thing that kept me living is my child .I actually had to take some time off right before becoming an Etl because I felt like I was dying inside . I never really coped with my brothers death I got the call when I was at work left work straight to airport took me 24 hour to get there just in time for the funeral 4 days later I was back to work trying my best to do what was asked of me and not fail. Take the time off , regroup - refocus and have an outlet be it walking , talking to a family member , or friend or even professional help. There is no shame in feeling in need of help.
@allnew2 sorry for your loss. We are here for you too.

Thank you and I appreciate it . I am a lot better now but there is days when I feel helpless. And the biggest problem that I have is that I can not come to terms with my brothers death and the way he died . But all I can hope and pray is that he has found the peace he was so longing for .

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

Thank you and I appreciate it . I am a lot better now but there is days when I feel helpless. And the biggest problem that I have is that I can not come to terms with my brothers death and the way he died . But all I can hope and pray is that he has found the peace he was so longing for .

Remember the good times with them. Have a picture of them to remind you, it's ok. I am at peace with no pain now.

 

[Hardlinesmaster]

@PogDog

 

[Rastaman]

I feel you. I'm stressed and physically exhausted at the end of every shift.

-Planning time off (I just asked for a week off and was told I'd need to be a week ahead on transitions for it to be approved)

-Music really helps me, usually on the way to work

-getting out of the building at lunch (need to do that more often)

-Hiking/yoga/meditation

I'm trying to keep it all in perspective and not let it eat my lunch, but it's hard when everyone's busting their ass and the consistent message is "results/metrics aren't good enough. You need to push them harder and hold everyone accountable"

 

[PogDog]

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses! Appreciate the ideas and feedback.

I'm gonna try to be more mindful of being too into my head. Maybe catch myself before I start spiraling down a depression hole. Try to develop some better coping mechanisms for my stress too. I started talking to another TL about some of my stressors (and found we share a lot of similar headaches), so hopefully we'll be able to lean on each other to solve some of the immediate things. Just venting helped (saying it out loud made some of the issues sound less overwhelming, than they were echoing through my head all day).

I might even try yoga as a physical outlet (along with meditations).

I'm feeling better than before I asked for help, that's for damned sure.

 

[happygoth]

Keeping things in makes them grow and become a bigger burden. When I was manager of a department I hated at my old job, I did the same thing, talked to a fellow manager about my stresses. It helped. I eventually stepped down because I had to get out of that department. Was a regular full-time employee for a year or so and eventually became a manager again for a department I liked. Went in with a different mindset and was able to handle it much better.