I thought I’d give a TM opportunities (more than others) because she showed zeal and had an enthusiastic way about her to learn - she did well as I pushed her. I had the TL’s push her as well. But to my surprise she was taken out in handcuffs in front of everyone apparently because she was taking money from the registers at Guest Services. I was disappointed. I felt it was my stupid mistake to have given her opportunities despite it was after all her stupidity. Can anyone relate to that?
Kinda, a little.
Last place I worked, there would be a huge awards banquet once a year. The people working as salesmen there had dubious characters, and a biggie was a penchant for alcoholism, so the awards banquet would always be held in the convention area of a large hotel and the company would get a block room rate and put the information in the invitation in hopes of avoiding having many of their staff arrested for DUIs after the banquet by convincing them to rent a room for the night. Many did the wise thing, a few did not and there was always a few DUI arrests.
The last one I went to, my husband wasn't available to be my plus 1 so my father in law accompanied me. The banquet always had a cash bar, but each person attending would get tickets for 2 free drinks. My father in law didn't want his, I had a single glass of wine and decided to leave early, so I gave my remaining one and both his tickets to a woman working in the admin office with me. She was traveling with a guy that worked in the admin office and his girlfriend and I thought he was driving, so when I gave her the tickets I said "Get drunk on me!"
She actually was the one driving, it was January, she used the tickets I gave her and when they left she hit black ice, slid, and slammed into a tree. The guy that worked with us said she was not impaired, things were fine until she hit a smooth as glass patch of ice. There were minor injuries, the police used a breathalyzer, she turned out to be legally drunk and she got a DUI.
I felt horrible. I not only gave her free drinks, I told her to get drunk.
But what the other admin staff told me, what even she told me when I apologized, she was a grown woman who was capable of choosing to use or not use those tickets and therefore there was no blame on me. It was not my fault because having the tickets did not mean she had to use them.
And that's the same for you. She was a grown woman who chose to steal. Just because you gave her opportunities to learn how to make good money the honest way and she instead used that charm of hers to make it the dishonest way, that doesn't mean you made a mistake. That doesn't mean you chose wrongly to encourage honest labor.
And, side note, think about this. Thieves that are subtle about what they do often are charming to call attention away from their actions. Think about con artists, workplace embezzlers, they have to make people trust them and like them for their scam to be effective. They need you to think they are great.
