Solar Eclipse

almost a decade ago there was a lunar eclipse/blood moon on my birthday and one of my coworkers was a flat earth shill who was practically screaming at everybody with Jake-tier arguments that NASA is a conspiracy to waste $999,999,999,999,999,999 per year on cosmic photoshops intended to deboonk the Bible, or whatever the fuck. Everybody else working that night stepped outside at some point to watch the eclipse happen and touch grass (I went outside too but I don't touch grass, I only smoke it) but this dude literally stayed in the whole time and FLATLY (ha) refused to take even a peek at it. Acted almost superstitious about the whole thing, as if the eclipse was some live-action NASA psyop with trillion dollar practical effects. lol/lmao. I had several hot takes to share with him and did so, namely:

- wear a tampon on a necklace as a talisman to ward off the bad juju from any moons with blood coming out of their wherever
- if the earth is flat it's only because YOUR MOM sat on it
- lunar eclipses happen when YOUR MOM gets between the sun and the moon
- if the firmament is real, why haven't I hotboxed it yet? Checkmate
 
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