Archived Guests Say the Darndest Things...

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Guest walking toward the back of the store: "Where do I check out at?"
Me: *points up front*
Guest: "Oh. We're going the wrong way..."
 
Vic said:
*A couple walks up to me at the cartwell*

Female Guest: "Where is the exit?"

Me: *glances at exit less than 5 ft from me and back at guest in disbelief* "There" *points*

Female Guest: "I told you it was near here!"

Male Guest: "Finally, we couldn't find it"

Reminded me of deleting the exit walkways in Rollercoaster Tycoon.
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Experienced this today for the first time. It was an elderly woman so it was understandable.
 
At least three guests asked me today if I could look up their red card number for them because they left it at home! Ummm, no, I cannot access your personal financial information. Sorry. Other people may be able to hack into your account, but I am not one of them!

And then frequently guests will ask me if we carry something. Some random item. How am I supposed to know? Do guests think I possess an eidetic memory and that I regularly review the entire store's stock?

And more than a few people (obviously low income customers) are VERY shocked when they find out bananas are 24 cents each, NOT 24 cents a pound!

Another thing, and this made me angry. The other day, I apologized very politely to a guest for the wait (it was crazy busy, and I was signing someone up for a red card). He laughed really loudly and said something like, "Oh, it's ok! I'm not mad ... You'd KNOW if I was mad!" Then he laughed again, also really loudly in a weird almost threatening sort of way. People are so weird.
 
Our bananas just went up to 29 cents a lb 🙁

Edit: I mean 29 cents each, holy hell I'm tired
 
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while i was stocking a few cases of gin on the bottom shelf:

"i bet you never thought working at a liquor store would have you on your knees"
said by a man old enough to be winston churchill

i stood up to my full height (6'3) and he dropped his bottle of tequila and ran out of the store

granted i had to clean that up (it was rat piss oops, i meant cuervo), but it was worth it seeing the look on his face.
 
daninnj said:
Cel said:
Our bananas just went up to 29 cents a lb 🙁

Edit: I mean 29 cents each, holy hell I'm tired
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We switched from eaches to bar-coded bundles a while ago and we still have people breaking whatever they want off the bunch.
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Sounds like those guests could use a good degreasing. I suppose that's an upside to selling via eaches, we can have a loner banana tray above the regular shelves for people who want 1 for lunch or whatever and it doesn't cause any issues. 8011 PLU + eaches ftw.
 
The other day a guest handed me a shirt and said something along the lines of "Oh, I don't want this, and I was too lazy to walk all the way to put it back!" and then she laughed! I felt like saying "Bitch, do you even KNOW how long it takes to sort and put back all the crap that our "guests" leave all over the damn store?!?" If you're going to create more work for us, then at least don't gloat and crack jokes about it. 😡 Man, I wish guests would think twice about grabbing something they don't want and then giving it to the cashier to put back at checkout. Either they don't realize just how much crap builds up, or they just don't care (maybe both).

On a slightly related note, I hate it when guests whine about how tired they are, especially around the holidays. How the heck do they think I feel? I worked a total of 30+ hours the weekend before Christmas; yeah, running around shopping is tiring, but standing on your feet constantly dealing with guests nonstop is more so.
 
*bitch-slaps zombie's guest*
I've watched people stuff unwanted items on my endcaps/sidecaps even as I've told them "I'll take that for you." with my hand out. They continue to ignore me when I ask them to hand the items to me as they're checking out, instead talking to others in their party. The one time I wouldn't start ringing up someone until she handed me the pajamas she'd piled on the sidecap, they were practically thrown at me.
*bitch-slaps zombie's guest some more for good measure*
 
ZombiePanties31 said:
The other day a guest handed me a shirt and said something along the lines of "Oh, I don't want this, and I was too lazy to walk all the way to put it back!" and then she laughed! I felt like saying "Bitch, do you even KNOW how long it takes to sort and put back all the crap that our "guests" leave all over the damn store?!?" If you're going to create more work for us, then at least don't gloat and crack jokes about it. 😡 Man, I wish guests would think twice about grabbing something they don't want and then giving it to the cashier to put back at checkout. Either they don't realize just how much crap builds up, or they just don't care (maybe both).
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redeye58 said:
*bitch-slaps zombie's guest*
I've watched people stuff unwanted items on my endcaps/sidecaps even as I've told them "I'll take that for you." with my hand out. They continue to ignore me when I ask them to hand the items to me as they're checking out, instead talking to others in their party. The one time I wouldn't start ringing up someone until she handed me the pajamas she'd piled on the sidecap, they were practically thrown at me.
*bitch-slaps zombie's guest some more for good measure*
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I hate the fact that we have to call people 'guests' because I sure wouldn't refer to some of the rude people that come through Target, as my 'guests'... 'nuisances' or 'annoyances' would be a better word.
 
Bored Food Aver said:
ZombiePanties31 said:
The other day a guest handed me a shirt and said something along the lines of "Oh, I don't want this, and I was too lazy to walk all the way to put it back!" and then she laughed! I felt like saying "Bitch, do you even KNOW how long it takes to sort and put back all the crap that our "guests" leave all over the damn store?!?" If you're going to create more work for us, then at least don't gloat and crack jokes about it. 😡 Man, I wish guests would think twice about grabbing something they don't want and then giving it to the cashier to put back at checkout. Either they don't realize just how much crap builds up, or they just don't care (maybe both).
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redeye58 said:
*bitch-slaps zombie's guest*
I've watched people stuff unwanted items on my endcaps/sidecaps even as I've told them "I'll take that for you." with my hand out. They continue to ignore me when I ask them to hand the items to me as they're checking out, instead talking to others in their party. The one time I wouldn't start ringing up someone until she handed me the pajamas she'd piled on the sidecap, they were practically thrown at me.
*bitch-slaps zombie's guest some more for good measure*
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I hate the fact that we have to call people 'guests' because I sure wouldn't refer to some of the rude people that come through Target, as my 'guests'... 'nuisances' or 'annoyances' would be a better word.
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how about 'crotch droppings'?
 
Today while cashiering after several exchanges with this crotchety old woman:

Guest: One of these thermos is on sale for 11.99. I am not sure which of the 3 were on sale.

*hands me 2 thermos*

Me: This one is 21.99 and this one is 19.99. Do you have the third one?

Guest: No, it was ugly and I didn't like it. Can you just charge me 11.99 for one of these?

Me: Forgot exactly what I said, but the basic translation was: Umm, no?)

Guest: Well fine then I guess I will just go to Walmart!

Next Guest in line: Good, I don't want people like you shopping here.

Guest 1: *pouts and walks out with nothing*

Never have I wanted to high five a Guest so badly.
 
I'm standing at the espresso machine making a beverage and a guest walks up and says, "Hey! Service! I need a coke and a bag of popcorn!". I smiled and said, "Yes Sir, just go on over there (and pointed to FA) and that team member can help you." "But I want YOU to do it." It went downhill from there. Talk about wanting to bi^$#slap someone.
 
SlapHappy said:
I'm standing at the espresso machine making a beverage and a guest walks up and says, "Hey! Service! I need a coke and a bag of popcorn!". I smiled and said, "Yes Sir, just go on over there (and pointed to FA) and that team member can help you." "But I want YOU to do it." It went downhill from there. Talk about wanting to bi^$#slap someone.
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I had an old guy come and yell at me to stop sitting around in Food Ave (I was popping popcorn) and to "go git sum-a them buggy wipes" because apparently they were out (no, he had just pushed them back into the bucket).
 
Vic said:
Today while cashiering after several exchanges with this crotchety old woman:

Guest: One of these thermos is on sale for 11.99. I am not sure which of the 3 were on sale.

*hands me 2 thermos*

Me: This one is 21.99 and this one is 19.99. Do you have the third one?

Guest: No, it was ugly and I didn't like it. Can you just charge me 11.99 for one of these?

Me: Forgot exactly what I said, but the basic translation was: Umm, no?)

Guest: Well fine then I guess I will just go to Walmart!

Next Guest in line: Good, I don't want people like you shopping here.

Guest 1: *pouts and walks out with nothing*

Never have I wanted to high five a Guest so badly.
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Should've done it!

If anyone questioned why you high fived a guest: "I don't give a F**K; I DO WHAT I WANT!"
 
SlapHappy said:
I'm standing at the espresso machine making a beverage and a guest walks up and says, "Hey! Service! I need a coke and a bag of popcorn!". I smiled and said, "Yes Sir, just go on over there (and pointed to FA) and that team member can help you." "But I want YOU to do it." It went downhill from there. Talk about wanting to bi^$#slap someone.
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If I had a nickel for every time I'd tell someone that Icees & sodas are purchased next door - only to have them gesture at the fountains/machines across the way saying "They're RIGHT HERE! WHY can't YOU sell them?!" - I could retire tomorrow.
Instead, I spin my menu screen around & ask them to find the appropriate button. I usually give them a few seconds to peruse ALL THOSE DAMN BUTTONS before they give up & go around the corner.
 
So this happened today:

Guest argues with me over the price of an item and holds up my line while GSTL goes to price check it.

Eventually it is decided that the guest can have the item for 5.99 because it was put back in the wrong spot and the guest was being insufferable about it.

Guest: If I return this will I get 16.99 back instead of the 5.99?

Me: *blankest of looks* Umm, no.

Guest: Well, why not?

Me: Because you are only paying 5.99?

Guest: But it costs 16.99.

Me: And you only paid 5.99.

Guest: Oh.

Thanks to her playing dumb I had the AP make note of her as a possible frauder for future reference. At least I hope she was playing...
 
About 45 minutes ago, had a guest ask me if she could try out a bunch of different mascaras before she picked one.

me- No unfortunately we don't have testers for mascara since it wouldn't be sanitary.

Guest- No I know, but believe me I don't have pink eye or anything gross. Just open a couple packages and see which is darker on my eyes. You can just glue the package back together and sell it if I don't pick it.

me- **LOD please LOD Can you come to A12 for guest assistance please**
 
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